Skeleton Coast [DVD] [1988]

Stars but a poor plot

some top actors, plays perfectly

I have always wanted to visit Namibia. The desert scenery looks absolutely spectacular. It is the sort of scenery that would have had the great American director John Ford drooling, with its scope for epic "Lawrence of Arabia" vistas. So when I found a film called "Skeleton Coast", which is a dramatic strip of desert hugging the northern coastal section of the country, I was interested. When I found the cast had Ernest Borgnine, Oliver Reed, Herbert Lom and Robert Vaughn I was sold. The story sounded interesting enough. A retired American Colonel enters Angola with a group of mercenaries to rescue his son, who has been kidnapped by guerillas and taken to their heavily defended fortress. The mission of course proves hazardous. A basic enough sounding plot, but good enough for me.The film appears to have been made with German funding, which is no surprise given that Namibia was once a German speaking colony. What is a real surprise was how the film managed to attract such big name stars. I can only think that much of the budget went on their fees in an attempt to capture an audience. Reed and Lom have very small roles that were superfluous to the films flimsy plot. They are simply there for star clout. It quickly becomes apparent from the TV like production values that this film was made on a shoestring budget. Borgnines mercenaries are made up of typical stereo type characters. There is a knife expert, called Blade of course, a martial arts expert, a gun expert, an old salt of the earth ex British commando, an 'Incredible Hulk' lookalike, and a blonde that doesn't do a lot but is incredibly well endowed. Needless to say she was not employed for her acting skills! Character development is somewhat limited. The commando says of Borgnine to the blonde "He's a real good guy". She replies "Yes I like him a lot". That is about as profound as it gets! I have a suspicion that the script was written on the back of a fag packet whilst the writer was waiting for his donner kebab. There is one scene where the team simply amble into the stronghold dressed as enemy soldiers. No attempt was made for a more plausible ruse to gain entry. It is as if the writer was finding thinking too hard, and was running out of room on his fag packet.The extra mature cheesy dialogue, the thick sliced ham acting, and the scary eighties hair styles make it unintentionally funny at times. Oscar winner Borgnine must have winced at some of the inane lines he was given. Given the right circumstances even great actors can be reduced to hamming it up! Borgnine at seventy was a bit long in the tooth for his role, but gives it everything as a sort of Hannibal Hayes in Africa character. Interesting to see that the old boy is one of the few of his Hollywood generation still around. The film has a lot of explosions that look more like the cheap fireworks my Uncle Bert used to let off in his back garden. The stuntmen jump about a lot in Zebedee fashion off of an army of spring boards. We get to see a bit of the scenery but not as much as I had hoped. This is not the sort of film where it is necessary to engage brain. If you like a few unintentional retro style laughs, then this film is not all bad. If not, then I should give it a wide berth.

Awesome! I'll return to this seller again.

how boring and by troma ???

When I clicked onto the page, I was amazed to discover I actually bought this on Amazon in June 2007. For ten years it's sat on the shelf, I wish I'd left it there. This is such a terrible way to remember stars like Borgnine, Lom, Reed and Vaughn, none of them could have needed the cash badly enough to make this lemon. The plot is simple, old fella recruits a team of mercenaries to rescue CIA agent and son from the custody of bad guys. Lom and Reed wrangle it out for the worst performance, despite a psychotic Reed demonically laughing his way through a mini war scene, I'd probably cast my vote for Lom, who isn't far away from being in true Dreyfus mode. One star for the locations, but that's it.

........1 star is generous, I couldn't finish it!! I knew it would be a bit on the ropey side, but really!! Maybe I'm missing the point, its a send up of the genre and I didn't get the straight faced humour delivery. Old Olly look his usual late 80's pickled self! Maybe its worth keeping just for that!