Inviting Desire: A guide for women who want to enhance their sex life Paperback – June 25, 2016

The author of Inviting Desire describes the book as “a thirty-day journey," with chapters labeled Day 1 through Day 30. This is practical and useful. Her approach is easy to understand and apply, and the writing is motivational and even entertaining.For example, in Day 7, “The Power of Words,” Walker Thornton describes how words can spark feelings of sensuality. Here she tells how her lover, a writer, has the power to move her:“He possesses me with his words. They sink in and imprint themselves on me like magic. The ink sinking into my skin, my blood, and carrying our passion into every fiber of my being. That passion rules me. It owns me. He has that power over me; he knows it and uses it.”*fans self*Thornton reminds us that “for many women, the act of feeling sexual desire requires intentional effort,” offering tips on how to work that into one's daily life. Each chapter ends with suggestions as to daily exercises, both mental and physical, and some concepts apply to more than just sex:“What might be different if you took full ownership of your sexuality--in and out of the bedroom...would you dress differently, change how active or passive you are...would you end a relationship? Start dating again? Buy sex toys? Take another lover?”This was an aspect of the book that I hadn’t expected: the implication that sexuality is connected to personal agency. Thus the subject of sexuality is treated as encompassing more than the mechanics of sex. For example, in Chapter 10, Thornton explains that living as a sexual being need not depend on having a partner for sex.“So, wear your sexy clothes, watch racy movies...Be indulgent. Treat yourself as the most important person in your life. Explore all the pleasures your body has to offer you.”“Inviting Desire” includes topics ranging from the poetic to the practical to the scientific; the book contains many footnotes and citations for further reference. It's an uplifting, enjoyable book that will help the reader feel empowered in many areas of her life. I recommend it.

I wish I'd had this book a few years ago, when I thought I was never going to feel desire again. That I was "past it." (Those of you who know me personally can stop laughing now.)If that fits you, a lack of desire and juiciness in your life, and you don't like it, this books offers concrete, practical advice on how to invite desire back into your life. Or even, for desire to enter it for the first time.Disclaimer: I am personally acquainted with Walker, and have long admired her forthright, clear language and advice regarding (older) women's sexuality. No shame, no coyness, no silly euphemisms, and the expectation that women are ENTITLED to a happy and joyous sex life, with or without a partner.The one thing that might not sit well with some readers is the language used throughout for the woman's partner is he/him. While technically that's correct English usage, I've gotten accustomed to gender neutrality or alternating gender pronouns in my sexual reading material, so I found it a little jarring.But that's a minor quibble. While written with an eye toward "women of a certain age," the tips and ideas here are practical for ANY woman who wants to feel juicy again. Highly recommended.

The writer has done some great work here, making a potentially awkward subject read exactly as it should -- like a natural and healthy part of life. While books about sex are often relegated to the dark corners and used to come wrapped in plain brown paper, that was all part of the problem. Walker celebrates a healthy relationship with sex, and connects it to confidence and acceptance of ourselves as we are, warts and all. If we can love our bodies, we can love our minds and understand how we can make the most of our time on the planet. It's a 30-day plan, easy to follow and even if you don't follow it you can learn a great deal just from reading the suggestions. An easy read and yet, thought provoking. It says the target audience is "older" women but I'd say the younger you are when you read it, the more time you'll have to enjoy the improvement in your life!

As a sexuality educator focusing on aging, I look at an awful lot of books that purport to be about sexuality and aging yet don't give enough information about pleasure. Most of the books on aging focus on the challenges, the problems, and the endings. Walker Thornton's book gives me hope that a whole new batch of readers can unlearn what they've heard in the past and learn some very helpful skills to invite desire (back) into their lives. She doesn't limit herself to partnered sex and speaks to the necessity of knowing your own body. Her writing is strong and clear: "The idea that we can't satisfy ourselves is an outdated idea that limits a woman's capacity for arousal. It makes you dependent on your lover and that's a big burden for both of you. The woman who owns her desire and makes time to pleasure herself is more likely to be comfortable with her body, experience higher levels of arousal, and feel more satisfied during sex." (page 64)And she doesn't make the same mistake found in most self-help books -- she understands the continuing journey many women are on. Again, her writing conveys deep messages older women rarely hear: "To invite desire into your life and explore your relationship with sexuality is a lifelong journey. We are sexual creatures from the moment we discover the pleasure of touch as a young child to the end of our lives. Our desires and cravings don't end when we hit menopause or old age. They change. They may surge or they may become less vigorous but they don't have to disappear. We don't find a final answer -- we keep growing and expanding as our wants and circumstances change." (p. 129)This is a terrific resource and one I will certainly share in my educational work with older women and those who work with older adults. I truly appreciate the work Walker Thornton has put in to this helpful book.