Swirling: How to Date, Mate, and Relate Mixing Race, Culture, and Creed

Wow. So glad I read the book for myself since it apparently struck a nerve with some of the reviewers who had a problem with the premise of the book - black women dating men from other races - rather than the execution. I LOVED this book. No matter how progressive we think we are as a society, there are still those who make a point of telling black women they are the least desirable. The message comes from rap music, movies and - unfortunately - a few black men and women who are like crabs trying to pull others back down into the barrel of self-hatred with them. While the act of dating interracially and crossing the color line is nothing new, it is still seen as a huge step to some. Christelyn and Janice do a great job of introducing the topic to those who may have considered "swirling" before but haven't had the courage or who wish they had someone to whom they could pose questions.The book contains anecdotes, interviews with interracial couples and daters, and stories from the authors' own lives telling how they crossed the color line and found happiness via marriage or at least companionship for the journey of life. Obviously if a woman isn't happy with herself, then no man can make her happy. However, Christelyn and Janice seem very well-balanced and healthy in their outlook. At no time did I feel like they were bashing black men. (There are actually interviews in there with black men who date interracially). It was more of an encouragement for single, black women to expand their horizons. I like that no topic was off limit. From dealing with family and friends to sex, they discussed "swirling" from all angles.I found the book enjoyable and I would recommend it for women of any age - 18 to 70 - who want to break out of their routine and get out of the rut they may be in. The book isn't guaranteeing a woman will find Prince Charming but it does give her a different road to travel. Remember, madness is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. I suspect some women may have totally different results in their dating life if they read this book and acted on it. A definite keeper in my library.

One brief passage by co-author Christelyn Karazin in this book gives the basic premise behind the entire book. Mrs. Karazin writes, "I once did a man-on-the-street interview with some very handsome rainbeaus at a blog conference in Los Angeles. The goal of the interviews were to gauge how nonblack men feel about dating and mating with black women. The good news? You'll be shocked to know they see black women as just that -- women. And you know what? They like you."This passage flies in the face of what has been thought to be conventional wisdom on interracial relationships. But conventional does not always mean correct. We are all people, each with our individual likes, desires and preferences. And that's what this book is about.It deals clearly and succinctly with a variety of topics related to interracial relationships. And it doesn't stick to only black women and white men. It covers the gamut, including the controversy about black men who date non-black women yet get angry and act out when black women do the same, as well as the learned inner conflict of being pro- your own culture or ethnicity while still being attracted to, dating and marrying someone of a different ethnicity or culture. And it covers handling the nearly inevitable comparisons of swirling to slavery by those who dislike the very idea because of that issue from our American history.It also covers topics like the myth of the strong black woman, dealing with friends and family members who don't want you to date or marry outside your ethnicity, and how to handle IR flirting and that first IR date. There's a chapter on dealing with cultural barriers that say you must marry within your race or culture, and another on dealing with sexual stereotypes. There's even a chapter entitled "Handling the Guess Who's Coming to Dinner Moment".It's educational and enlightening, even for those of us, male and female, who have been swirling for many years, as well as those who are curious and unafraid of going against the artificial, man-made barriers that prevent people from just being people.Other than a few minor grammatical and punctuation errors, this is a well-written book.The reviewer is the author of Child Protection: A Novel of Deception , At First Sight: A Strange But True Love Story , and Perchance To Dream

Livre bien écrit, inscrit dans son temps. Toute femme intelligente et ouverte d'esprit, qu'elle soit soit noire ou non y trouve un petit guide sympa pour vivre au mieux les relations humaines (professionnelle, amoureuse, amicale) dans une société de plus en plus élitiste, mondialisée et biensur métissée.

Very good book and contains a lot of useful information.

Having read the blog 'Beyond Black & White' I didn't find there was much left in this book to consider eye-opening.i thought there would be more in depth relationship advice in dating someone of another culture, for example how your packaging can impact their perception of you, how and when to bring up the 'this is not my real hair' talk, how to maintain your confidence in a foreign culture especially when you might not be that culture's ideal of a beautiful woman or his family's ideal, how to engage in non threatening interactions with different races if you have come from a background of suspicion-as in one has to start finding likeable people of a different race regardles of sex i.e non black women can be lovely too and can introduce you to people. I think this book is definitely for the uninitiated; those who have never come across 'swirling' blogs lke Evia Moore's Black Female Interracial Marriage or even the co-author's Beyong Black & White. It's a place to start but I found it lacking some depth or stopping just shy of getting to the answers to some relevant questions-I guess that's what the blogs are for! But i thank thank authors for taking the time to educate ethnic women about their choices in life and this is important

loved it!

I bought the book because I date outside of my race and thought this book would cover some of the issues regarding mixed couples. But the whole book is just telling you why you should date outside your race and in my opinion the authors seem to have a problem with black men. I got the impression they hate black men and have been very badly hurt by them.I'm a mixed race woman but class myself as black and have dated white men for years so I didn't need anyone telling me why I should, and I suspect that anyone with intentions to buy the book also doesn't need anyone telling them why they should date outside their race. Especially in the manor these women did.Her " Guess who's coming to dinner moment" didn't even cover what was said between her and her husband or how they resolved their problems. It was so vague and didn't cover anymore than her advert about the book.The book didn't teach anyone who's already comfortable dating outside their race anything.Also the whole way through the book these women go on and on and on and on and on and on about how society and black men have made black women seem unattractive, disgusting etc. It's awful and they do it to put us down and see them (the writers) as our answer to feeling better about ourselves. Well I've always known any man would be lucky to have me, but after the book I questioned my own beauty! Only for a minute though :) This book is dangerous to an insecure and weak minded individual and should be avoided.The book should really be called " Black women, don't date black men because they don't like you anyway and have nothing you offer"I binned it!