Daily Wisdom for Why Does He Do That?: Encouragement for Women Involved with Angry and Controlling Men

This is a tremendously useful tool for both women and men in troubling relationships. I would recommend that the person in question also read Lundy Bancroft's book entitled Why Does He Do That? first, in order to understand the complex dynamics and cycles of emotional and verbal abuse. The book can assist those at the beginning of their healing journey or those who have left a relationship and still need daily encouragement to keep persisting in their healing.

This book saved me during my divorce. It has been a lifeline and even over a year later I still read it frequently. I can’t express enough how helpful I found this book to be. Highly recommend.

I am so thankful for Lundy Bancroft. I first read "Why Does He Do That?" about five years ago and it validated my thoughts about my husband and helped me stop doubting myself. I literally wanted to hug Mr. Bancroft after I read it. It was the first step for me in being able to see through the smoke and mirrors I am surrounded by. Daily Wisdom gives practical guidance and reassurance to women in abusive relationships, in a way that I have not come across in any other book. His knowledge of these types of situations is incredible. I have been amazed so many times as I read about topic after topic that I have been struggling with. I think he is the best writer on the subject and he has made a HUGE difference in my life. Anyone struggling with an abusive relationship should get this for sure!!! You will be glad you did.

Essential reading if you even think you might be being abused, taken advantage of, or your life as part of a couple is a daily struggle that's ruining your self esteem and enjoyment of life. If knowledge is power, you will be empowered to do what you need to do after reading this book. Bancroft is not an armchair self help guru - he has worked with thousands of abused women and abusers. He's heard it all, and is fooled by nothing! He plainly respects women, and the difficulties women face in abusive relationships. He may well not help you solve the issues, you can't if your partner believes he's entitled to treat you as an inferior, but you WILL feel empowered to create a better life for yourself - and to get away, if that's what you need to do. I've read a lot, having been in an abusive relationship with a war veteran for 16 years, and this book is by far the best. I am now husband free, without guilt or remorse, and freely getting on with my life, and getting my self esteem and energy back.

My sister had to leave her abusive husband suddenly last year. She showed up on my doorstep at 1:30a carrying her 17yo dog with only the stuff she was able to grab after her abuser finally fell asleep. The protection order came through two days later. Unfortunately, the whole divorce process has lasted more than a year. She really struggled those first few weeks and months. She questioned whether it was really that bad (it was) and whether she was making a big deal out of nothing (she wasn’t). I worked for a domestic violence center doing intake for shelter several years ago and had read “Why Does He Do That” as part of my training. I ordered both the original and this workbook for her. On those days where she found herself questioning whether or not he was really abusive, I had her read a chapter. Every time she’d come back after reading saying she made the right choice in leaving. If you (or a loved one) find yourself wondering whether or not what your partner is doing to you is abuse, you should get this book and the original. No one should have to live with the constant threat of violence over their heads. And yes, it IS violence even if they’re not actively hitting you. Emotional, verbal, and mental abuse is frequently more damaging than physical. Everyone deserves to feel safe and loved in their romantic relationships <3

So sad to be married to a man so evil....and selfish. Tough news to swallow that there really are more men like this... I am not alone.

As someone with a masters in marriage and family therapy, one might think I won't mess up in choosing relationships. Nothing could be further from the truth, for me and for the multiple thousands of counseling professionals out there. In the couple days in between a violently angry explosion from my fiancee and our meeting to discuss it, I read this book. It literally saved me. The blunt, yet compassionate way he essentially says "hope at your own risk" was exactly the sobering truth I needed to hear. Friends, also therapists, tried to tell me. It was this book that actually got through to me. I feel like an emotional cataract has been lifted from my heart. I'm deeply grateful for the profound paradigm shift this book created in me and have purchased it for others. I only wish the judicial, social services, and public protection (police) systems could "get it" . Unfortunately, these systems attract this kind of man in an alarming number. Not all, but the terrorizing, bullying, and unrestricted authoritative possibilities offered to (especially) judges and cops, but also many politicians, educators and business leaders prove seductive for this type man. Look around you. For that matter, look at the "men" supposedly representing nations, most especially our own. So at every level - from love partners to global patriarchal societies this looms large.

I recommend this book to everyone. After surviving the abusive relationship I was in, this book helped me to see my relationship for what it really was.

Very useful and friendly support for women suffering from verbal abuse by their partner. Helps to break free, gives hope and empowermentl and a realistic view, what in fact happens.

I bought this after reading the first one which was life changing, insightful and helpful. My violent abusive partner ripped this one up. He says it’s brainwashed me and puts all the blame on him. He says I deserved the abuse and violence and to stop being the victim. To all the people who are struggling and need help this and the original book will help you understand what is going on and give clarity. Most people know the bad behaviours to avoid eg they’re controlling, calling you names, constantly criticising you and putting you down, cheating and lying to you, breaking your belongings and hitting you are bad. A lot of people are in abusive relationships and feel like they have no way out. These books are a god send. It gives you strength when you really need it. I have repurchased and told him to move out. Don’t want anything to do with him. You can’t change a domestic abuser. Only thing you can do is leave one. Christmas Eve we spent arguing and him being violent and threatening. Spent Christmas in my car in a park car park to get peace. Wasn’t going to cook dinner or get presents for someone who abuses and hurts me. You have to tell people. You have to get help. Nothing worse than suffering in silence. It gives them power. Once you tell people they have been outed and are under the spotlight. Abuse thrives in silence. I told my neighbour and family friends which I felt ashamed but you shouldn’t I glad I did. I’ve been threatened many times and with a knife. They only care about themselves. Abusive people don’t change. My partner was abusive to his previous partners. Blames me for the abuse and says it’s my fault I deserve it. I reached the point of being suicidal to escape his abuse as I felt trapped and depressed. ONLY YOU CAN STOP THE ABUSE, by leaving your abuser. It wont be easy but it will be better for you. Once the bad is out of your life, you have a space to fill it with good. Your partner who is supposed to care and love you doesn’t hurt you repeatedly and disrespect you. That isn’t love. Love is not abuse. Your partner is supposed to make you feel loved and safe not in fear and depressed. You were not born to be abused. There is life and love without abuse. No one deserves abuse no matter how many times they say you do. YOU DESERVE BETTER :)

Interesting book

This is a fantastic book to read after "why does he do that" amazing book.. such great advice especially if you have children.

This book is a very easy and light read. It was a natural continuation of Lundy's other book. It's not earth-shattering, but is interesting nonetheless.