Miss America by Day: Lessons Learned from Ultimate Betrayals and Unconditional Love

Very heartfelt story and helpful in healing from child sexual abuse, stronger together!

Interesting, author goes into a good bit of detail, helpful read for other survivors of childhood trauma.

Money, wealth, influence, power cover up so many things and make certain people untouchable - this is how it was with Marilyn's father. No one could touch him because he was so wealthy, powerful, and feared. So, he got away with committing incest on his daughters throughout their childhood and teenage years. What is wrong with men like this? They think they can get away with everything because they do!!! No one holds them accountable because they cannot be touched! I hope he is paying for his crimes now.I have read this book 3 or 4 times now, and there are certain parts that I read and re-read. Marilyn is a woman of such courage, strength, faith, and confidence. I can relate to her because she puts that smile on her face and everyone thinks everything is fine and dandy, but sometimes a smile just covers up all the pain - I know. I have not experienced incest, however I have experienced sexual abuse and sexual assault. I always blamed myself because no one was there to provide assistance for me. I got counseling for myself only as an adult, and still have not uncovered and dealt with everything that I would like to.This book is so helpful in understanding how powerful, yet insecure and hurtful people intimidate and traumatize others to do their will. And, the victims so often suffer in silence because society doesn't see, doesn't want to see, doesn't care, or cannot do enough about the situation to improve it or stop it - ie - Mr. vanDerber being untouchable due to his power.This is such a sad, but powerful story. Marilyn found ways to survive and protect herself when her "mother" could not and would not. One is as bad as the other - the mother who allowed her husband to rape their daughters AND the father who raped his daughters, repeatedly, for YEARS! People are sooooooo sick! At times, this book was just too overwhelming for me to read, but I always went back to it and kept going. It is the book that I still pick up and read because I am just so amazed at Marilyn's courage and strength in herself. She is also so blessed to have such a wonderful husband - and the preacher who helped them when they were teens. Where are the rest of the good men out there? Are there any more?

Miss America By Day is easily the best book I have ever read about incest and sexual abuse, how severely damaging they are and how to recover from them.It was a very difficult book to put down and I can not imagine anyone who could read it without crying.When I thought about reviewing this book on Amazon, I thought there would be at least 100 published Amazon reviews and some would have at least 100 positive comments. Sadly, it appears I may be one of a very few males, who have reviewed this book.This book deserves far more publicity than it apparently has received.Miss America by Day should be required reading for every counselor, teacher, nurse and Physician.This book should be in every library in America. I am trying to think of some additional ways to help publicize it, besides recommending it on my blog. Send me your ideas. I was excited to learn it is available on Kindle, which should make it easier to find.Many other reviewers have discussed different aspects of the book in more detail, especially since I gave my copy to someone who had suffered similar abuse, in her childhood. There must be a God, since the replacement book I ordered was an autographed hardback, for only about $20! I need to buy more copies to give out and always have one available and ready, when I learn of another victim.Sadly, when Marilyn's multiple physicians she consulted could not find any physical cause for her baffling paralysis, panic attacks, insomnia, chest pain,constipation, ulcers or nausea, she was referred to an ineffective Psychiatrist. Hypnotism and firewalking were also ineffective. Fortunately, she discontinued treatment with the Psychiatrist and continued her healing journey thru more effective paths, including survivor groups, confronting her parents, talking with her sisters, reaching out to others, accupuncture, rolfing, massage and spiritual counseling.Marilyn had repressed memory of the incest for years. Some of the repressed memory triggers she described, occurred as her daughter passed thru various stages of childhood. She also suffered Multiple Personality Disorder and met other sexual abuse sufferers, who developed Multiple Personality Disorder, to survive the abuse.This book is one of the most inspiring things I have ever read. This book is so incredible, I feel my words are inadequate to do it justice.

Amazing and comforting

Not an easy item to review as there is still stigma attached to abuse. However, this lady is completely open and honest about her experience of abuse by her father and her subsequent attempts to deal with it. She discusses the "treatments" she used and some of the other people who have admitted to being abused. The theme she hammers all of the time is that the person abused is the victim and it is not them at fault.Sad to see the prices being charged as I got my copy directly from the authoress's web site at a lot less. Unfortunately she only ships the book within the US now but you can download an ebook for a lot less. HTHBW

Candid tale of childhood sexual abuse, family dysfunction and the havoc all of that inevitably wreaks on a child's mind. It is also a book about a remarkable, enviable love story. I had to take quite a few breaks from reading this book, as VanDerbur recounts everything important that was done to her in a detailed manner.Marilyn VanDerbur is simply a woman many would aspire to be like if they knew of her. Her book is intended to remind the reader not to feel shame for someone else's actions. I tell everyone who mentions this topic about Marilyn Vanderbur-Atler.

Fantastic book! She explains exactly what it is like to be in her shoes, addressing the issues and solutions to teaching young ones around us. Very inspiring also to know you can heal.

Libro sobre como afectan los abusos sexuales sufridos en la infancia en la vida adultaExplica la huella física que el trauma deja en el cuerpo y lo importante que es trabajar sobre ello para volver a alcanzar un estado mas deseableEste libro puede remover emocionalmente mucho a personas que hayan sufrido abusos en la infancia.