Frank PageMelissa: A Father's Lessons from a Daughter's Suicide

If you are picking up this book to "learn about" mental illness such as depression or bipolar this is not the book for you. HOWEVER, this book is absolutely, absolutely a must read for anyone who cares for a loved one who contemplates suicidal thoughts whether for reasons that do not flow out from mental health sickness, or even of reasons that has no dysfunctions in the brain hindering the person who fights against biological reasons. Suicide happens in all realms of disturbed emotions that either falls under circumstantial depression such as- failure, rejection, a product of bullying, unhealthy self esteem, etc... and or the constant battle of a never ending exhaustive thriving under the oppression of mental illness. This book should most certainly be read by any one who is playing with the idea of ending your own life. What ever reason, -this is THE book to read!My favorite chapter, and because I think it is because I am one who is diagnosed and struggles with Major Depressive Order, is chapter two. Pastor Frank Page has so beautifully, yet blatantly speaks of the truth about what we all are. We are all sick no matter what a doctor finds out about us. We all share the common deadly illness: sin.I know first hand the stigma that weighs heavy upon the one with mental illness. Not to mention personal guilt, shame, and even when I've stigmatized my own self with the world's view (and even often the church) of mental illness. It was finally when I surrendered to fact that I need the provision God gives to ones like us with medication that keeps our flawed portion in the brain stabilized. I am now in what is called `remission' in my disease coupled by the right medication -and of course and foremost because of my God who sustains me. All this to say...THIS CHAPTER HELPED ME feel like I am NOT different from any one else in this world. I AM NOT DIFFERENT from the one who has no physical disease. I AM NOT DIFFERENT from the one who depends on insulin injections three times a day. I AM NOT DIFFERENT from the one who has to take thyroid medicine because if they don't just like the one with diabetes, and mine own illness it can/will be fatal.I AM NOT DIFFERENT from anyone else because we all share the same disease that no one is immune to: sin. Thank you Pastor Page for helping me really understand this. It feels good to know that before God's eyes I'm not in a category of my own because of the controversial medical interventions to help someone like me.Read chapter 2 titled We All Fall Down. I say after reading this book `Let us all rejoice in the Savior who has come to save us from the disease that He is most concerned with, the disease that will kill us all if not taken care of by His medicine -His sacrifice He gave for us on the cross.Thank you Pastor Page for sharing your face-to-face reality with suicide. I know your pain and missing Melissa may not ever lessen this side of heaven -especially, and for sure missing her and so I especially thank you for traveling back through this very hard past experience to help us, to help us all. May your book forever change lives every where!! And if I may leave me encourage you with thankfulness for helping me. I'd like to encourage you with what you leave for us for comfort to hold onto- His great mercy and love has reached down to redeem us and gives us an unwavering Hope with His promise that one day we will be reunited with our loved ones regardless of how they exit earth, a place where no more suffering will ever be.

I purchased this book to help me understand the intricacies of suicide as I begin to work in suicide prevention. Thankfully, I do not have first hand experience, however, the transparency of Dr. Page's grief over his daughter, Melissa's suicide flowed through his words in order to receive a sampling taste of his pain. I pray that I never fully taste that heavy grief. Yet, he also explains the ebbs and flows of healing and accepting God's grace.This book is saturated with Christian theology and the message of hope for survivors, for attempters, or for those contemplating suicide. I believe it is an excellent resource for even the most nominal Christian.I especially appreciate Dr. Page's last chapter, advice for pastors. If you find yourself supporting a friend who is contemplating suicide, or a family member of someone who completed suicide, it is a must read. The topic of suicide has such a stigma attached to it, it is hard to know how or when to say anything about the person in Heaven. Is it OK to say you remembered their birthday or the anniversary of their death? Dr. Page helps navigate those particularly difficult areas we face.In my experience, it is very appropriate if not necessary, to let a parent know that their child in heaven is remembered and loved.

I cannot even put into words how beautiful this book conveys both a fathers love and the gospel of Jesus Christ who heals, saves, redeems. As someone who still to this day struggles with suicidal thoughts I have looked for books to help me and have never found one that addresses the issue with such grace, humility, urgency & care. The last page of each chapter is a letter to me. Well, of course my name isn't at the beginning of each letter... but it addresses anyone who has this struggle. I benefitted so much from those letters & really the whole book. I am a lot like Melissa was so I appreciate the authors approach in describing her personality & behaviors. I hung on every word & needed to remove all distractions when I read this book. One day I'd like to personally tell Frank Page thank you so much for taking the time to do this.

I just finished reading this heartrending story of Melissa. This book book brought me to tears, crying out: "Why, Melissa?"Melissa had a supportive, loving family that makes her suicide a mystery to me. Her pain and anguish must have unbearable.This book is an important resource to all contemplating suicide or have had a suicide in their family. I would like to correct one inaccuracy in this book.Frank Page states that the Catholic Church("largest singular religious group in our culture") dooms all suicides to hell. The Catholic Catechism refutes this: "#2283. We should not despair of the eternal salvation of persons who have taken their own lives. By ways known to Him, God can provide for salutary repentance. The Church prays for those who have taken their own lives." Only God can read the depths of our soul and only He knows how much we love Him. "For you have been bought at a price. So glorify God in your body" (I Corinthians 6:20).

I bought this book to give to my dear friend, who had just lost her 14 year old daughter, Kate, to suicide. I wasn't sure if she would even read it, but she did and was just amazed at how similar Melissa was to her own daughter! She highlighted tons are parts describing Kate and it brought her a lot of relief knowing she was not alone. Her loss was especially difficult, given that Kate was so young and had so much going for her. She was beautiful, smart, excelled at everything she tried, incredibly giving with a heart of gold and loved by everyone. But she had a dark side (noticed at the age of 2) that Melissa seemed to share. Reading about Melissa's future brought my friend so much comfort, in that it was a peek into what Kate's future probably would have been like. A promising future wasted because she never felt pretty enough, or liked enough, despite constant praise by others.

A very good read!