Dare: The New Way to End Anxiety and Stop Panic Attacks

Barry's book and program changed my life. I am a woman in her early forties and it's been about 6 years since I developed an anxiety disorder, meaning thinking about anxiety started to be a huge part of my life that wasn't there before. I am a successful engineer and all of a sudden I found myself worrying I couldn't do my job, feeling anxious all the time, consumed by frightening thoughts and sensations, and having no idea what was wrong with me and having no hope that I would ever be myself again. Traveling for work was one of my biggest sources of anxiety and I placed all these limitations on where I could go and for how long trying to minimize my discomfort. I didn't understand that the only way out of this was to experience my uncomfortable sensations in the right way to train my body that these things I feared weren't actually dangerous.The four approaches you are taught are to use humor (Diffuse), Acceptance (I can't choose how I feel but I can choose what I do), empowerment (Run towards), and Engagement.This is so much more than just a book though. This is a program you can join and interact with other people going through the same struggle as you are and it is moderated by an amazing licensed therapist. There is a free group you can join through Facebook, and there is also a monthly membership that allows you to participate in 5 group calls a month with two amazing therapists, and one of the calls is with the author himself. I don't know of any therapy approach that stands by its program this much to allow people to question the approach in a respectful and open way and where the program and approach prove they work over and over in the hundreds of people I've interacted with. There are also some one-time 10-day long boot camps or themed classes you can take to get more involved. All of these programs make group therapy super affordable and effective. The courses are about $100 and the monthly fee for Dare Advanced is $25 a month. There is also a really great app that is free, and a paid version with more content for $10/month. Considering that most one-hour therapy sessions start around $140/hour, this is an incredible value. You can also book one-on-one coaching sessions with the therapists who administer the Dare program, and those costs are comparable to what a private therapy session costs, but you do get consistency with your coach only using the Dare approach and understanding it really well. The https://dareresponse.com/ website will have all of this information.I have been in the DARE program for nearly 4 years and have made amazing progress. I'd say it took me about a year's time to get back to "my old self," but I've stayed in the program because of the amazing community of people and because this program has completely changed my mindset about how to handle anxiety, adversity, and I now know how to challenge myself in a healthy empowering way to keep growing and setting higher ambitions.A few quick examples of the program effectiveness:I read this book while in the middle of a major anxiety setback. I'd been in therapy and recovering from my initial "diagnosis" of anxiety for around 2 years when a medical anxiety issue really flared up my nervous system. I was afraid to go to work/leave the house. When I read this book all of a sudden so many things clicked for me. For instance, by staying home I was reinforcing the fact that work was a dangerous place I needed to avoid. The truth is I was experiencing unpleasant bodily sensations and I was afraid to experience them at work. Being at home didn't prevent them from happening. Once I got this, I was able to go to work within 3 days of getting the book, and that really impressed me about this approach. Barry really understands what causes anxiety, what it feels like, and does a great job of explaining how it's not dangerous.Fast forward about 2 years and I posted in the group page that I was going to take on any work trip I was asked to do that year (after previously limiting myself to about 200 miles from home). That year I "had the opportunity" to fly 1400 miles and 1800 miles within 10 days of each other and I did it. I also stayed longer on one of those trips than I had ever been willing to try before. Both of those were huge accomplishments for me and not something I ever dreamed I'd be able to do even before anxiety hit me.If you are struggling with anxiety this book is absolutely the place to start. It changed my life like I never imagined. Afterwards check out the website and Facebook group and definitely try out one of the programs where you interact with Barry and the therapists. Asking questions in a live call really expanded my understanding of how to implement Dare. The app audios are amazing for this as well. Although I have used the real therapist sessions maybe 10-12 times in 4 years, I made the majority of my progress using the $25/month dare advanced program with the group calls. I found that taking 5 minutes out of a call to ask a question was enough to really move me forward.Have hope and faith that you can recover from anxiety. It's just learning how to do daily life stuff even if you don't like how you feel, and retraining your brain that those activities aren't dangerous. It's just your nervous system over reacting because it's in a sensitized state. I've seen many people get better and quickly with this program on the order of weeks to months. I do believe long lasting results take more time like a year or longer, but you can expect to continue to feel better and better on that journey so when you look back you always see that you're making progress.

First off, I have been dealing with on and off panic disorder since the age of 8, and by age 12 I thought I had completely overcome it and was doing very well. I had been in a constant state of "flow", as Barry would call it, for a good few years other than the occasional social anxiety--Up until the fateful day in 2013 at age 15 when panic struck out of literally nowhere. I was even at home. However, I didn't recognize it as panic at the time. I was so caught off guard I thought it had to have been a health issue. Maybe a heart attack or maybe there’s something REALLY wrong, like, I’ve been terminally ill for years and just don’t know it yet. There was no other explanation. After some ER visits, a couple of heart monitors and echocardiograms, I was disappointed to figure out that it was just panic--yes, I was disappointed. It's so much easier to cure a physiological issue than a psychological one. After that incident, I was in a constant state of panic. I had the panic attack that never ended, that kept me bound to my bed (thank God for homeschool). It was a 24/7 panic attack for a good few months, the counselors were baffled, since panic attacks are usually very short lived compared to lasting for weeks or months at a time. It's true, though, my heart rate was constantly elevated close to 200bpm, I saw danger in every corner, I didn't want to leave home, or be alone, at ages 15-17, I wanted to die because it just would NOT end. And basic relaxation techniques provided and repeated to me once a week were certainly of no use to my case. For those few years I would always say that if this year doesn't get better, I'm going to give up. I guarantee you, I have read more panic and anxiety cure articles and forums than anyone on this planet. I've been through many counselors. I have tried supplements which were actually the only thing that didn't seem entirely useless. Some supplements do help, as stated in the book. However, in general, I was constantly taking one step forward and ten steps backward. I had really lost all hope a few times. I was fear stricken even in the "comfort" of my own home. I saw the risk in everything--no matter how small--never the benefits. I thought I had completely lost it at one point, refusing to eat the majority of food for fear of a "sudden allergy". Looking back that sounds literally insane. I couldn't be in a car for more than 30 minutes at a time or I would get claustrophobic and panic. I was afraid of dying in my sleep. Afraid of passing out, anywhere and everywhere. (Dizziness was a main symptom for me, as I have fainted in the way past and remained terrified of the sensation years later). Afraid of flashing lights for fear of "a seizure". Wouldn't dare to be out of sight of a "safe person". I would've been genuinely content living in a hospital at that point because I felt it was the only true safe zone. I hadn't seen any friends in those few years. Anxiety had stolen almost three years of my life. Three teenage years. Not to mention, half of my childhood before this new bout came along. I missed out on many opportunities. Anxiety aside, I could have really had a lot going for me. It's quite sad looking back on it. Now the reason for the intense elaboration on my personal story/panic disorder is because I want to emphasize that I had it very, very badly. If I can make it through, literally anybody can. I had it so bad that I eventually couldn't relate much to the anxiety forums online anymore because my attacks were so intense and the sensations became so weird that it was almost as if I had entered some sort of psychosis. I wasn’t apart of reality for months at a time. And feeling alone in it all did not help, I’ll tell you that.Now that we have that out of the way, I'd like to share my journey to the healing part of my panic disorder. Before I get into where the DARE book played its part, I liked to start from the beginning of the journey by saying that by the time I had turned 18, (last year), the anxiety and panic had calmed to a point where it wasn't a constant state anymore. (I will say though, if I found this book back then, it would’ve come to that point a lot sooner). This was probably due to me reuniting with some supportive friends, finding some new music groups and shows that I loved, and could get passionate about. Also, I am very sure that taking certain supplements (5-HTP, magnesium, vitamin D3, L-theanine) that a great doctor I was seeing recommended to me had also played a part in that as well. (Don’t sleep on supplements) However, although I felt better than the two previous years, I was still a slave to my anxiety and panic. It ruled me. I still only went out with friends once a month or less, I used those music groups and shows as a constant distraction and ended up neglecting school work. No matter how elated I felt that my anxiety was going down slowly but surely, it still was not moving quickly enough. I repeated 11th grade. I didn't do well the second time either. I just barely made it. I was just better enough to where I no longer appeared crazy or clearly ill, I just appeared lazy. Little did anyone know, these distractions were just keeping me sane enough. I wasn't really better. I just had worked my way out of one trap only to find myself tied up in a much less constricting trap, but constricting nonetheless. Coming from where I had previously been, I was honestly pretty happy about that for awhile--genuinely. I didn’t really notice how bad it still was. I just knew that I finally felt kind of normal again. It wasn't until shortly after I had turned 19 (a few months ago), that I came to realize that it wasn't normal enough. Panic attacks were still at least a weekly occurrence. The temporary cures were helping but they weren't cutting it. I noticed the fear was slowly creeping back in. If I wasn't actively searching for a cure, it was bound to get worse and end up sending me back into the downwards spiral of the place I had finally crawled my way out of. It was now or never.Now here is where DARE comes in. Shortly after it occurred to me that I still was not cured of my anxiety and was only wearing a band-aid that would inevitably slip off at some point or another, I knew it was time for some real help. I'm 19, this is a crucial point in my life. I can’t be dealing with this. I needed an amazing fix if I was going to live the independent and anxiety free life I needed to survive in this world. I was running out of time. I was ready for a real cure. I needed one. In desperation, I came to Amazon and literally just typed "panic attacks" into the search bar. Yeah. I don't even read books. I didn't know what I was doing. But to my surprise, I saw a 5-star book that claimed to be just the cure I was looking for. I thought, "what? how could this book be a full 5-stars, people with anxiety are always so critical about cure claims, the reviews have gotta be fake". Upon reading some of the incredible reviews however, I became super intrigued--and desperate. I had nothing to lose but a couple of bucks and you can't really put a price tag on a potential cure for an anxiety-free life. When it arrived, I read the whole thing in two days. I could not put it down. I was too amazed with the contents and intrigued by this unheard of method of dealing with panic attacks in a way that never occurred to me after all of my searching. Even before I put the DARE method into practice, I had already felt like I'd won my life back. I felt elated just by reading the book and I was so excited to try it out and put it into action. It covers everything that you need to know. Every question I had along the way was answered as I kept reading on. I was even shocked to see that it covered the panic symptom of derealization in the detail that it had, as that is personally my most prominent panic attack symptom, and honestly, the scariest one of them all, in my opinion--which after reading the book, made me realize it was probably my fear of the derealization that caused it occur so often. I felt so relieved--and skeptical. It was too good to be true. That is, until I began putting the techniques into practice. I had already practiced some diffusing, "what if" techniques (the D step) with one of my many counselors, and while it helped slightly I knew this wasn't gonna be a cure. I still had anxiety. Allowing, (the A step) was one that I had struggled with for years and probably why my anxiety was so high all the time because I tried to refuse to let myself feel that way. I was so angry that I kept feeling that way. To feel any better, I had to learn to let the painfully uncomfortable symptoms join me--and what do you know, they were nicer when I didn't try to rudely kick them out. If only I had read the book sooner I would've known I was doing the complete opposite of what I should have been doing--which is a huge reason why I wasn’t getting better.. When I truly--emphasis on truly--allowed myself to feel the anxiety in it's entirety, that's when I started seeing it fade. I had every strange physical symptom in the book and then some. They were very intense. And I have to admit, sometimes the first two steps just weren't enough in the beginning. This is where my favorite part, the "run towards" step, (the R step) comes in. I love this step. It is the most effective for me personally and it's sometimes even fun to implement depending on how I do it. Demanding and asking for more/worsening of symptoms instead of thinking, "no God please not here, not now" works wonders I would've never thought possible. Of course I was hesitant as first, I thought, "what if they really do get worse and I get dizzy and pass out WHILE DRIVING OR SOMETHING?". One day I decided to let go and test it out and instead think, "so what, I'll pull over and even if I do pass out, so what, if I crash due to fainting I'll get my license taken away and I won't have to even worry about it anymore! So what? That sounds great, I hope the dizziness sticks around and maybe gets even worse. Give me your worst--I dare you." Of course it was sarcastic, but the reason the this step is my personal favorite is because you can do it in any way that works best for you. Implementing sarcasm and humor makes light of it all which personally does wonders. Making light of it and having fun with it while using the “run towards” step is just a really powerful part of diminishing panic symptoms for me because it ends up also putting me in a better mood and making me feel like I can handle anything with my attitude. I am always in control of my own attitude, therefore I felt in control of my anxiety. After the "R" step and getting everything out of it that you can, it makes it so much easier to ease into the "E" step which is engaging with life, or in others simply just continuing to live--continuing your life in the way that you normally would, anxiety or not. Letting it be present, but not-at-all affect the way you live or make any decisions for you, no matter how small. And hey, even if you feel more anxiety coming on just repeat all the DARE steps. Trust me, it’s gonna work.The only way out is through--through the DARE response. If it works for me there's absolutely no way possible it won't work for you.The DARE technique aside, I love the way this book completely crushes and dissolves any idea of "safe zones" and "safe people", and "crutches". (However I still think it's smart to always keep your cell phone and basic emergency stuff with you most places). I love the emphasis on making peace with your anxiety as if it was an enemy or bully that you decide to call a truce with. Almost as if you're treating your anxiety the way that you want to be treated. Okay, that might be stretching it a bit, but the more analogies the better. It's a very important concept that must be grasped. Being okay with having anxiety and welcoming it rather than fighting it is such a beyond simple concept that works miracles and the word needs to get out there. All of the other techniques out there need to take a hike, because they're just confusing people by throwing out unhelpful--but well meaning--methods into the mix and discouraging people when they end up feeling even worse. This is the method that is going to work and heal you completely if you stick with it. This is the method that needs to stand out from all of the other ones. This book clears everything right up. It will give you all the tools you will need and more.One of the best parts, in my opinion, was when he described going through a very scary real life scenario, something I could never imagine happening to me. I love that it acknowledges that life out there really can be scary and sometimes panic is justified and not just random. Things happen. Life comes with a lot of constant worries and concerns. He even provided tools on how to deal with justifiable fear, worry and panic and it was very empowering. This whole book is empowering.Another thing that I'm so glad he mentioned was how to deal with intrusive or obsessive thoughts and made it explicitly clear that most everyone has or has had them at some point and that it doesn't make you crazy--and more importantly, emphasizes that you're not a bad person because if you were, those crazy weird thoughts wouldn't bother you at all. I think that is a very important subject to acknowledge because it is something that I imagine many omit when seeing their counselor or anybody they vent about their struggles to. They might secretly think they are crazy and maybe feel ashamed and would never dare let anyone know what goes through their heads--and it is a very dark and dangerously self-destructive trap to fall into. The section on intrusive thoughts puts an end to thinking that you're crazy and provides again, some very useful, very fresh tools that will--if you practice--put an end to them in no time.Towards the end of the book, it also touches on forgiving yourself for having anxiety and how important it is to truly love yourself so you don't subconsciously self-sabotage your own progress--something I am guilty of, and probably many others who don't even realize it. As silly as it sounds, practicing self-love as simple as just telling yourself, “I love myself,” everyday can rewire your brain out of the self-sabotaging state--something I still personally need to practice. When I say the book covers everything, I mean it--even touching on the importance of exercise, water-drinking and supplements to even humor and love. This book is everything you need and more to be well on your way to recovery. And while I don't discredit counseling and therapy--because I think venting and one-on-one therapy is still incredibly helpful to stay on track--this book has been the single most important aspect in my journey to healing, and I just wish I had found it sooner. If you have anxiety and don't go to counseling, at least read this book. And if you do, take this book with you and have your counselor help keep you on track with it. Have it be the basis for all of your counseling sessions. Heck, even suggest that they recommend it to their other patients, I know I have. Because the more the word is spread about this book, maybe the fewer cases of panic disorder we’ll see in this world, and if that isn't motivating, then I don't know what is.I have been panic free since reading this book this past winter--and I don’t see that changing anytime soon. No fluff, this is the real stuff. Don’t half heartedly try variety of different anxiety techniques. Whole-heartedly put your all into this one. It’s so worth it. Trust me.It completely changed my perspective on anxiety and even life. It's true--YOU are the cure. You just need the right tools. And this book is it. This book is my tool and I guard it with my life. Anxiety really does have some nice perks--when you go through it, you come out of it a stronger, wiser person and become more appreciative of the small things in life that other people don’t think twice about--for me, anyway. I also struggle with depression caused by my anxiety holding me back, so the less anxiety I have the less depressed I tend to feel--another perk. You only know true happiness when you've gone through true suffering. So be grateful for this opportunity.You'll probably find that you're much happier when you reach the light at the end of the tunnel than the people who have always been there, having never gone through a tunnel of their own.Instead of fear passing out, having a heart attack, intrusive thoughts, and so on, demand them. Welcome them--and keep at it. You'll be surprised what a difference the simple DARE technique makes. You'll feel better and better the more you practice it, and soon you won't be thinking about any of that old anxiety stuff at all. And even if it decides to stop for a visit down the road, welcome it. Welcome every ounce of the discomfort and fear.My personal advice to you is this: coming from the worst of the worst, I think everyone with anxiety, no matter mild or super-severe-nearly-bad-enough-to-be-hospitalized, you need this book. And keep in mind, I’m not a reader. This book has given me so much personal power and I can’t wait to continue to grow and keep growing. So keep your head up, keep things light-hearted and humorous, make friends with your anxiety, love yourself, and DARE on. It's only up from here.

It was very reassuring and validating to my experience. I believe this Author is very knowledgeable. I am sure with these steps and confidence in myself I will back to my pre anxiety self.

I decided to wait a bit to write a review on this book. I read it a couple months ago and instantly put the technique into play. It helped me to understand the ins and outs of anxiety and panic, the feelings associated and a good start to learn to deal with them.In January I had a very bad panic attack on a weekend getaway with my husband in a big city and right after my world changed. I was constantly in a state of anxiety and panic attacks were creeping up on me everywhere, driving, in stores, at home, at the doctor, EVERYWHERE! I tried Zoloft for 2 weeks and it triggered a 4 month rocking vertigo bout. I am still going through that it's slowly going away but it led me to other options aside from meds.So I found this book. I will say it works with some of my anxiety but not others. My daily anxiety is mostly gone but I am still having panic issues when I am alone in the car, going to stores etc. I am not sure if it is because my vertigo triggers my brain to panic or not. Either way I needed to learn how to get a grip on this. All of this! My panic attacks feel like syncope. I want to pass out. So asking for a panic attack in the car is a little frightening.All in all it's good but scary and you have to embrace this system all the time. I am still working on it and I hope paired with a total change in my diet and exercise this book helps me more and more.