Rolex Men's 18K Gold Yachtmaster II Model # 116688

I really can’t believe people actually spent their time writing useless reviews on this item. Is it jealousy that you can’t afford this jewel of a timepiece that drives you to waste your time and everyone else’s? Please be considerate. And yes, I did buy this timepiece. Unlike everyone here, I can afford it.Anyway, when I bought this item I thought the price was 38 dollars and 495 cents. It wasn’t until I realized my bank account was empty and the guys came to repossess my car and my Hair Club For Men hair system (PLEASE don’t call it a ‘toupee’ – GOSH) that I realized that this timepiece actually cost over $38,000. So buyers beware. I think Amazon should be a little more clear on the “THOUSAND” part. But anyway, no big deal. I decided to keep it.This timepiece (PLEASE don’t call it a ‘watch’ - GOSH) is unbearably exquisite. It is so jarringly splendid and exquisitely superb that I curl up in the fetal position and weep in agonizing ecstasy every time I gaze upon it for too long. I fainted the first time I saw it. I opened the cardboard box it came in, removed the sheet that said “MAID IN CHINA”, and upon seeing it, I stopped breathing, went into convulsions and spoke in tongues right before fainting. That’s how exponentially magnificent it is. I have to cover it up with duct tape when I’m driving so as not to accidently gaze upon its titillating angelic perfectness . It looks really good.At first, I didn’t know how to read the time on it because there are a lot of numbers on the dial and I didn’t know which ones to use. So for instance, if you look at the picture it above, the time says 77:33. So that’s the way I tell time now. When people ask me for the time I tell them: “My Yacht-Master II says it’s 88:11. Can you deal with it?”. And I just walk away. It’s not my fault they don’t understand how time is crafted in my Yacht-Master II.Thanks to my Yacht-Master II, time is just… different for me now. I exist in a much more expansive and rich Time Dimension. When my boss fired me for missing a critically important meeting, I told her: “No. I didn’t miss that meeting. I was there at 66:1010. It’s not my fault you don’t understand how time actually works.” And I turned my back on her and walked away. Let her deal with it. (Btw, I'm desperately looking for a new job - please call me anytime bet. 99:22 and 11:88 FM.)

I bought this "yachtmaster" expecting to sail across the big blue. I figured I was getting a great deal spending only $40,000 dollars on a yacht. However, it was physically impossible to fit on this boat. Never mind with my entire crew. AND it didn't even float! as soon as I brought it to the loading dock it sank right to the bottom. I would not recommend this boat to anyone looking for an enjoyable time on the ocean.

Read the description of this product! The Men's 18k Gold Rolex Yachtmaster II DOES NOT include a yacht with the purchase. While I've never been one for reading the fine print, even in this instance, nowhere is it specified that the watch doesn't come with a yacht. One would assume that spending the equivalent of a school teacher's yearly salary would obviously mean a Yachtmaster is delivered aboard an actual yacht. Alas, I was duped.With my voyage already planned and bags packed, imagine my surprise when my watch arrived the standard 7-10 business days later (courtesy of free shipping), yet not attached to a sailing vessel of any kind. Instead, I've been forced to wear this sailor hat everywhere, and when people ask if I'm a boat captain, I must lie, point to my watch, and say "This is a Men's 18k Gold Rolex Yachtmaster II. Of course I am. Do you think they give these to just anyone?!"While the watch is nice, it is a sizable amount of money for what is honestly nothing more than jewelry for your hand. If I want to know what time it is, I look at my phone. Suffice it to say I am disappointed to learn I wasn't also buying a yacht. So a warning: Do not purchase this watch if you have expectations of receiving a yacht with it. The name of the watch is solely a ruse to separate you from your money.

I bought the Yachtmaster II for what is likely the most common reason to purchase this watch: I wanted to be the master of my Yacht, for a second time. I am also an owner of the original Yachtmaster and have worn in on countless voyages as I braved the waves of the Atlantic to the far reaches of the Arctic Ocean. I expected some improvement with the Yachtmaster II, or at the very least some reasonable continuity of nautical mastery, but was disenchanted by the pitfalls which fell upon me subsequent to making this purchase. My first mate got scurvy and ate all the lemons on the ship. This was problematic as I, like any other Yachtmaster, enjoy a good lemon drop martini. Deprived of that which once fueled me, I had to resort to drinking grog with my crew-mates; a drink most unbecoming of a skilled Yachtmaster like myself. Furthermore, the glass on the watch face, being of inferior quality, cast a glare which struck the eyes of my deck hand, causing him to plummet from the mainsail, strike his head on the starboard galley rail, and spew all but the last drops of blood from his head, staining the deck in a most unpleasant manner. The blood dripped down to the water and attracted numerous sharks and other predatory aquatic beasts which are currently circling the ship, inhibiting me from my late evening breast stroke practice. Consequently, I have thrown my watch into the waves and demand that Rolex provide me with a new one. I wait anxiously for your response; Your move Rolex.