I Thought We'd Never Speak Again: The Road from Estrangement to Reconciliation

I have never written a review of any book that I've read before but after reading this book I felt I had to write about it. One wouldn't be reading such a book unless they were having crisis situations involving painful estrangements. I have had a very rocky situation with my 19 year old daughter as a result of a relentlessly bad divorce pending from the time she was 14; basically my ex tainted her against me and over the past 4 years we have spent no more than 2 months together because it has been so volatile. This book taught me to calm the voices and put aside the bad stuff; I have been able to reconcile with my daughter on her terms and from reading this book I've learned techniques to do this. I would rather be in my daughter's life than not. This book tells of horrific estrangement stories; and yet it also speaks of amazing reconciliations. It also deals with how to handle situations where reconciliation is just not possible and how to deal with that as well. This book is a must read for anyone dealing with estrangement from children, parents and friends. It provides tools, techniques and hope and has taught me what is necessary to forge a relationship in damaged situations.

I personally and professionally am aware of too many situations addressed by this book. In fact, the majority of the world's peoples have this experience or dilemma with someone(s).I appreciated Laura Davis' co-authored book "The Courage To Heal" and knew immediately this book would be valuable. I was correct.Davis provides many, many examples and situations of falling outs between people, and groups of people. My interest is in the dyad relationship (two individuals) in this dilemma, and the direction they may eventually take. Davis presents how people (individuals or groups) chose to resolve or settle the block either for themselves or with each other. It certainly takes courage, and I am impressed with many of the situations presented and their courage.As I said, I was more interested in individual enstrangements and noticed many more situations presented were about a child and parent relationship gone enstranged. I would have appreciated more presentations about people who were not of parent-child relationship... perhaps from longstanding friendships, or even among siblings. (note: there were such cases presented but many more were about the parent-child relationship). I probably had this reaction because being in the psychological field, there is so much focus about the parent-child relationship to begin with. I will also note though, that her book does go further to address those parent-child enstrangements directly.In addition to presenting how individuals chose to re-approach (or not) their enstrangement, Davis also suggests ideas or methods for re-approaching enstrangements and whether to and how to re-approach them.From the whole book I do feel more informed about a subject that strangely -- enstrangedly : ) -- has not been written about for the general population. And, for a population that I suspect the majority have been affected by this dilemma in one form or another.Lots of credit to Laura Davis who seems to have often been a pioneer.

It's ironic how I ended up with this book in my hands. Through a writer's group, and although I have never met her, I am aware of another author by the name of Laura Davis. I wanted to purchase her book so I decided to by a copy on line. I didn't know the title of her book, so I just googled her name. Without further investigation I ordered a copy of "I Thought We Would Never Speak Again" by Laura Davis, thinking it was hers. Within a short time, I soon realized that this was not the same author, only one with the same name. It came as somewhat of a surprise as I chastised myself for making such a silly error.In the end, it wasn't a big deal as I proceeded to read the book I had now purchased. I obviously chose the topic of this non-fiction book for a reason. I think it's pretty safe to say that most of us experience friction in some of our relationship over the span of a life time. I am no exception. When I read the title of Davis' book it grabbed my attention immediately. I was looking for answers to help solve the mystery of some of the friction in my own life. My goal was to see if there was any hope at reconciliation.I would have to say that Davis' book is very well-written and researched as far as interviewing what seemed like several hundred people living with troubled relationships or estrangement. She then proceeded to compile their stories and how they personally handled their situations. Davis also wrote about her troubled relationship with her own mother and how they eventually worked things out.I was somewhat disappointed in the content of the book because it took several chapters until I could actually find what I was searching for as far as looking for the answer to my own troubled relationship. I didn't find the book easy to read or to relate to because the reasons for the estrangement in the stories Davis retold, didn't seem to apply to my situation. It was difficult to generalize in order to make the interviewee's experiences work for me. I also wanted to hear more about Davis' story about her own personal reconciliation. I really wasn't expecting to read a compilation of other people's stories as told to her. However, I will say this...Davis did a thorough job of researching her topic. I just didn't find it personal enough to satisfy my own search for reconciliation. And yes...on a personal note, I eventually read the book I had initially intended to purchase.

This was such a good book, I stumbled on it and my heart goes to those who are going through this in there life. I highly recommend it to everyone.