Women Who Love Too Much

It changed my whole outlook and perspective on my relationship and my attitude towards it. I saw myself multiple times in her explanations and stories, I felt seen and it opened the door to better understanding myself. the stories she tells to explain what co-dependence is and what it looks like and how it can feel, makes it relatable and easier to understand. It debunks how you see love in movies and books, it opens your eyes to how unhealthy it all is because its not about the heartache and the yearning. Definitely read it, especially if you feel like you're giving and giving and getting nothing back in return. The whole book is an epiphany. I want to thank Robin Norwood for changing how I am for the better :) Thank you Robin! Thank you Universe for leading me to this book!!

I've never said this about a book, as rarely has it been true, but this book DID change my life. In an abusive relationship for 4 years, I was having serious psychotherapy, and my emotional and mental health was at an all time low. My best friend told me about this book as she'd seen it in a magazine, and I bought it. Yes the therapy built the foundations and helped me to see that I needed to start loving myself... but this book somehow made it all click together. "Loving yourself" is a cliche but think about it - what do we do for those we love? We want to protect them. We keep them safe. We want the best for them. Its not a woolly concept! But for those who have never really loved themselves, it takes a lot of work to really understand HOW to do it and what it means. In relationships with those were love, that love is displayed by actions, behaviour, and boundaries that demonstrate that love and care. This is obvious if you have never been someone with low self worth.... but if you do suffer from it, real self-love is a hard concept to really understand. And then to practice and apply it consistently!!!! I know as I've been there and done that journey, and this book, with the many illustrations (in case studies) really helped me to have that lightbulb moment.... It just clicked in my head and I got it. I said "I'm NOT doing this anymore, I'm just NOT". And I meant it. It was over. That was 8 years ago and I'm now happily married to the love of my life and my soulmate. (Importantly was that in between the two relationships I decided I was happy being alone, happy just being me for a while. I had given up that search. I decided I was whole in myself and deserved to focus on me for a bit). So, this book was my turning point which allowed me to break that destructive cycle. I've lent it to many others and it's now been lost... I'm now buying another for a girl who is in that place where I was 8 years ago. To the author, Robyn, THANK you.

I thought i was goign roudn the bend with the same mistakes over and over again in love life, until iread this, articvel that mentioned to help self to free self from loving men who arnt right for you, as woman was chasing after bad typed men! sounded similar to me. As i noticed i go out with men, that seemd on surface wounded, but when got to knwo them they really, just hiding bad side, and by then fallend for them and decide iwas going to save them!!! anway opened ny eyes heart, and some hard thigns to tkae in and udnerstand about selfin the bookk, love the fact i useses other people life storied so you see certain thing about self too. really inspiration, setting me ont he road to recovery, soi heal and learn tolove me and my past and how to deal with it, and my choices in life, and how to deal wih it. learning love, of self, to out self first, and walk away when alrm bells ring to save another, not true relationship, but merry go round, of madness. realising i am, MS NICE. its ok to be MS NICE , so allowing self to let in MR nice that never gotten chance to attract one as alway runnin in the opposite directiont o save another! not so Mr nice! even the got he book of meditations too, what real life saver daily messafe to guide you through the fog. got to get it, if you seriousl had enough or desire change of new loving relationship, real healthy relationship. with not onlyself world, and men of postive naturex

In therapeutic terms the book is accurate and a tremendous resource for women addicted to men who don't love them. However. In spiritual terms. The book is useless. Having an intense love for someone is a spiritual feeling. HOWEVER, it is not all that it seems. It shows us up to help us heal wounds that reside in us. Only by bringing these feelings into awareness (sometimes through the mirage of 'love') can we begin to change our automatic addiction. I had a problem that dominated my entire adult life. Namely that I was attracted to men that allowed me to right the wrong my absent father had done to me. I knew this from the age of 17. Yet I wasn't able to stop recreating the same situation until I was 31. I would fall hopelessly in love with the man who showed me I wasn't good enough. And wonder why all the nice guys chased me. And why I wasn't interested in them. Meditation ultimately illuminated me as a four-year-old child waiting for my father to pick me up and showed me I had been waiting for all my relationships to 'pick me up'. Unsurprisingly that never came. All I received was pain, suffering and desire. I had to label the last addiction as 'I do not deserve love' in my phone. And every time he called I would say to myself 'I do deserve love'. I blocked him on every platform, lost friends through our acquaintances and went to the police for a restraining order. At that point I had been in turmoil with him (daily crying, his favourite thing was to say he loved me, and not return my calls for weeks - again and again and again). Still I desired him! He did exactly what my father did. The last guy was the worse. Many years after I escaped and started recovery. I forced myself into a relationship with a man I wasn't initially attracted to because initially I was scared I would go for the same absent father guy again and the distraction I thought would prevent me. Frankly, I was at breaking point and desperate to stop hurting myself. Over two years I began to see the nice guy differently each day. He grew more attractive and nicer with each day I stopped wanting pain. Still that desire for pain was so strong in me. It was only a total reordering of my life when I gave it up. New career. New friends. New hobbies. And importantly a meditation practice that helped me see and recover from my addiction to painful romantic relationships with men. I also found the science behind my addiction beneficial to learn about in a book called 'Why you love a guy who doesn't love you. And how to stop'. Recommended reading if you are a woman, addicted to love. Like I was and NEED the science as to what is happening to you. I have been happily married for years now. And when I hear friends describe what I suffered for my twenties I tell them to read this book and go to a Vipassana meditation retreat. The book is written for other therapists and provides little in the way of clear guidance for how to change your behaviour. Through meditation you gain awareness. And in awareness you can let go of even the strongest patterns. I wish you total recovery. We all deserve to be loved.

I was lent the book and it stayed on my bookshelf for months, unread. I had read many books on self development, so, this one did not really attract me because of the title. I did not identify myself as a ''woman who loved too much'' and I did not come from an alcoholic environment. But when I started to read it, I really got into it. I would say that the beginning (the setting of the book) is a bit slow, and the stories are quite cliche (but then again, they would be because they are every day life stories by real individuals) but once you go on, you will discover that the title is misleading or confusing. It is not just about women who love too much one man, it is also about women who give too much , who accept too much and those who would take their friends' problems on board like they were their own. I recommend buying this book and read it in its entirety because the self help bit comes at the end. If you wonder why your friends always take advantage of you, that you are there when they need you but they disappear when you need them, when you are the one to listen but they never have time for your problems, then this book is for you, whether you have a problem in your relationship with your man or not. If your life is give, give, give and you never take or take so little in return and it bothers you, then go ahead and read it. There needs to be balance in life, and if it is the right of others to ask, it is our prerogative to be able to say NO, when things are inconvenient for us. It is not to learn how to be selfish, but it is to learn how to recognise when we are being taken for a mug. It is to learn how to be selective in how and when we want to help people. Some people will always have the same problems, year in , year out, and not matter what you do, as a friend or as a partner, they will use you as a walking stick and discard you when they find better. They actually use you for doing the jobs they should be doing, and they appeal to your sense of pity and nurturing. And if you think they need you, then think again. They do not need you, per se, they just need someone who will fulfill their needs. So many times it happens that a woman will wait for years to leave a man because she thinks he needs her, will fall apart without her but as soon as they find the courage to leave him, he gets someone else in. The same with some so called friends. No one is irreplaceable nor indispensable for them. It is not easy to assertive, it takes a lot of courage and a lot of work, but think about it: what is better, to be loved and used/abused, or to be loved and respected? This book, like any other self help book, will not change your life. But you will by following the advices given. I would like to add that this might not be the best book for someone who is just starting her journey in self discovery and self awareness. Maybe best to start with this book: You Can Heal Your Life: 20th Anniversary Edition

Wow! Robin Norwood you rock! First & foremost to all of you in the UK who feel there isn't a support network near you, you ain't looked hard enough or want recovery bad enough! For myself alcohol played no part in my childhood but there where way too many other similarities throughout this book I simply couldn't deny. After reading only the first chapter the very same day after many phone calls I discovered Co dependents Anonymous! I'm Co dependent and in recovery! This book personally saved my life & answered key questions I had 'felt' like how exactly did my childhood affect me? The only thing I could personally find critical of this book is that the reading on the back cover doesn't give it justice. I first learnt of the book through seeing someone who is going through counselling with it and I can hand on heart say if I never read another book I personally wouldn't worry, because this book gave me my life back. On finding a group for my needs from day one my eyes are open and can see dysfunctional relationships and why certain folk are together, that's the magic unfolding in recovery and YOU need to read this book! Thank you Robin x

This was an interesting book. I originally bought this book on suggestion from a response to a Quora question/discussion about seeking excessive external validation. My hope, was that similar to a book I had read in my early 20s about abusive parents and damaged children, this would result in an epiphany or realisation of some sort, or offer some perspective to facilitate a significant shift in mindset or similar. As I read the book, I came to the realisation that this book is not as advanced as most people let on. The book focusses heavily on case studies of children of alcoholics or those of us who were significantly neglected during childhood, but most importantly this book pertains to the seeking of similar relationships of adult survivors of said parental relationships in their now romantic relationships, and really does focus on this heavily and specifically rather than discussing or expanding on internalised beliefs and ANY relationship- such as friendships, interactions with acquaintances etc. My hope was that this book would help me in general in my life, and whilst it did offer some interesting facts and tidbits, there was nothing particularly awe inspiring, and because it really wasn't the focus I was looking for or even as advanced as it's kind of advertised, I wasn't helped at all with my problem. Most interestingly, perhaps, is the realisation in itself that this book poses as a conundrum or a catch-22 as it were- to be self aware, or emotionally intellectual enough to realise you need help that you seek help of your own volition in this book, you already surpass the topics or maybe even the need (!) of this book. Perhaps if this book is on a reading list for your studies or a professional recommends it to you it could be helpful, but if you have pushed enough to seek help in this manner yourself, you would already know OR be able to easily access the information in this book through the internet. The premise is fairly simple - we may join romantic relations with similar dynamics in our adult years to the relationships we had when we were younger- whether the caregiver, the neglected child, the abused child, whatever, because they are known to us and we repeat those relationships due to internalised beliefs that we can change our fate this time round, when in reality it is simply easier to replay a relationship dynamic known to us than to deal with something safe or different, which either scares us, or feels boring because our brains are wired to feel that the stimulation of being scared/unloved etc is what it means to be loved. I suppose the outcome to this is in two parts - one, I hope this book reaches the hands of someone who may need it but not realise in the charity store I donated it to and two, I suppose it has encouraged me to realise that I am much further along in my healing journey than I realise. Either way, I suppose it has helped in some manner, but not necessarily the way I had hoped for. If you feel you may be of use of this book certainly give it a try, and if you've read this far all I have left to say is that I hope life brings you healing and joy- I promise you deserve it.

This book was recommended to me by my Counsellor. It has given me the missing piece to the jigsaw as to why I love too much. I now understand that this is due to the emotional abuse I received as a child from my Mother. I have, in the past, engaged in relationships with "needy" men inorder to feel loved, wanted and indeed needed. When I have "helped" them overcome their barriers whether that has been drug addiction, employment issues, qualifications etc I am no longer needed therefore the relationship has ended.This cycle is an addiction just as an alcoholic requires drink to function. In order for my life to feel worth living I had to have a "project" to control, work on and change. I now need to learn to love me for who I am not what I can give to others. I need to learn to be "selfish" in a relationship and find a guy who needs nothing from me so the relationship is on an equal footing, someone who can love me for who I am not what they can "take" from me or indeed what I can give. This has been a massive learning curve for me. At times a very painful one but never the less a fantastic journey! I highly recommend this book for readers who want to understand their "addiction" to loving men too much and why they do it. This, in turn, will help you understand why the pattern has occured and what steps you can take to change them and you! Good luck in finding the "new you"!!

I really liked this book. Described a lot of what I’ve been through and made me understand a lot about myself. A must read for people who suffer continuos abuse in the relationships and understand the roots of it

Good book for women who tend to lose their identity in a relationship

Worthwhile reading if you always try to find the ways to justify your partner, give them a second chance, work on your relationships, etc etc… Even if your case is not as extreme as some shown in the book it shed so much insight onto why we care too much, why men dont care and why we suffer in the end! Helps you to get perspective on your behaviour

Fabulous book , very informative. Educational , fantastic examples. I leaned a lot. I read the book in 2 weeks. I would read it over and over as a reference. She gave every type of woman who would possibly love a man too much, and needless to say I was in quite a few examples and case histories. The case histories and how they got that way was eye opening, how our childhoods had so much to do with how we are today, and why we are the way we are today.. The fact that we have addictions ourselves to food, drink or drugs because of childhood is amazing. We look for what is familiar. It is such a good read you can't put it down. I wanted to learn more and more, and get better. Then it offers you a solution and explains how to do it. Yes it is a fabulous book I can't say enough, I thought it would be dry because my sister refered it to me, I was quitting an abusive relationship and having a really hard time, I was so obsessed with him and she said get the book it will help . I thought , oh right. But its been 3 weeks and I have not called him or emailed him. I challenge you to purchase it, it will make you feel better, if it could help me, .......and I was as low as you could get.......he was screaming at me and swearing at me in public restaurants and I would just sit there and take it for $400 a month. Can't get any lower than that. Do it, you will only end up smiling. I promise, because I thought there was no hope for me, and I can actually smile now, really can smile. I hope the best for everyone who reads the book, and good luck. love Sharon.

Je suis tombée un peu par hasard sur une recommandation pour ce livre sur un réseau social, dans un groupe de self-improvement. Très enthousiaste et à la fois un peu sceptique au départ avec pour seule véritable idée le résumé et quelques avis d'internautes, je l'ai acheté, à tout hasard. Il se trouve qu'une grande majorité des mécanismes psychologiques qui y sont décrits s'appliquent à mon cas. Quelle délivrance, après tant d'années dans le noir, d'enfin comprendre les origines de cet étrange comportement qui a toujours été le mien (au moins depuis 10 ans !). Une simple lecture (et une lecture simple !), entrecoupée à chaque paragraphe ou presque de longues réflexions et mise en rapport avec mon expérience personnelle, a eu un véritable effet déclencheur. Et ce avant même d'avoir atteint la section proposant des clés pour ne plus reproduire les schémas erronés. Comprendre les mécanismes, c'est visiblement déjà les maîtriser. Quant à la forme, c'est un livre facile et rapide à lire, avec des témoignages (peut-être parfois un peu trop) et surtout une analyse de l'auteur dans chaque cas. Ce sont autant de leçons que l'on peut s'approprier. Tout le monde ne trouvera pas ses réponses dans ce livre, c'est certain, il faut avoir eu une enfance et/ou un entourage difficile(s). En revanche, quand le cas du lecteur est adapté au livre, les bénéfices sont extraordinaires. Il est vrai que j'aurais aussi pu résoudre l'énigme de mon comportement en consultant directement un psychologue. Il y a un rapport coût-bénéfice à calculer, dans mon cas je suis ravie d'avoir découvert (plus ou moins par hasard) ce livre qui a changé un aspect de ma vie (et je pèse mes mots !).