The Heart of Domestic Abuse: Gospel Solutions for Men Who Use Control and Violence in the Home

This book is another tool that pastors need in there tool box. This book is a great helpful guide to help pastors counsel the abuser.

Chris Moles does a masterful job at unveiling the heart of the abuser and how to deal with him from Scripture. In doing so, he explains some of the common tactics used by abusers to avoid facing the responsibility of their abuse so that we (the readers) are more aware and less likely to be duped by their facade.Highly recommended to all in the minister and especially to pastors. This is one book I will refer to if ever dealing with a domestic abuse situation.One caveat is that the Kindle book is horribly formatted, so I would recommend the print copy.

This is such an excellent resource especially for people helpers(pastors, elders, Biblical counselors) in giving a clear and concise understanding of the twisted dynamics of abuse(Every kind manifests itself as “rotten fruit” from the seed of entrenched pride in the heart and entitlement thinking.) and offering the only hope for the abuser to effect repentance and genuine change—the grace of God in Christ Jesus! Chris Moles has nailed it! He, also, emphasizes that doing the right thing in calling the abuser to repentance does NOT guarantee a positive result! Repentance as a way of life takes HARD work over time to demonstrate the genuineness of it, and most abusers refuse to do the hard work. However, this is still an excellent resource which I highly recommend for all, the “people helpers” and the ones recovering from such abuse.

I finally found a book that gets to the very heart of the issue and what is necessary to provide help for an abuser in the church. I can't stress enough how much churches are ill equipped to handle abuse Biblically. It's a shame and it grieves me to my core. I wish I could share this book with every pastor out there. Pride and abuse are the real pandemic, not covid. 100% recommend.

Every once in awhile you find a book on a subject that is long overdue. Though there are other books written in this area, I don't know if anything else comes this close to exposing the truth about spousal abuse whether it be physical, mental, or emotional.I would not only recommend this book to the injured party in a domestically violent marriage, but to anyone attempting to counsel the perpetrator.I've seen some of the critics of this book take some cheap shots and other just disagree because it doesn't fit their preconceived idea of how to deal with this subject. I will tell you once you get the perpetrator to talk openly and honestly about why they do the things they do, you will see that the author has pretty much nailed it and brings the Gospel to the reconciliation process.

Having gone to several churches seeking help for what my life was....I was frequently left with....submit more, respect better, serve lovingly, sacrifice much....and then encouraged to do marital counselling of some kind. Oh how I wish one of those churches had read this and listened to me.I feel abandoned and like I am the one wrong. Loneliness is strong and with it comes the realization that for me to be safe, I have to walk away from almost everything I've held dear....Please....please.....READ THIS, church leaders and counselors.

Every church elder(s) should have the kind of training on abuse that Chris Moles talks about in this book! A great read even if you are not in a leadership position but just learning about abuse. On a side note...Asberger's can seem like narcissism when you are a Neuro-typical person; good to know!

Abuse is too often made a superficial issue of pursuing behavioral modification. Chris Moles places inspirational emphasis upon the focus of the HEART. Unless there is true repentance and deep willingness to YIELD to heart-change, there will be no REAL victory or healing for victims and perpetrators. On the other hand, if such repentance IS embraced, miracles of restoration are possible, worth any price of humility. This is the ANSWER to truly resolving the tangled troubles and devastation that result from abuse. There is HOPE in the LORD and through mature, wise counselors who have added understanding to knowledge, now making much better diagnosis and therefore the correct treatment of a severe heart problem.

Working with abused women of a Christian persuasion I hoped this book would give me insight into a biblical view of how an abuser ticks and I was not disappointed. The author works with abusers in court ordered classes and other settings. He sets out the core of the sin that leads people to be violent or emotionally abusive and the path out of that sin through the gospel. There were also warnings of how not to be fooled by an abuser who claims to have changed which I found helpful for my work. At the same time the book, or rather the gospel, offers hope that abusers can change by the power of the Gospel and the although the primary responsibility of the church is to protect the abused it is also possible to work with abusers. The author himself says it's not a "how to" book for abusers but rather a book for those working with them. I found it very helpful!