My Mother, Munchausen's and Me: A True Story of Betrayal and a Shocking Family Secret

All this time (27 years to be exact)I have suffered at the hands of my parents.I also thought that my childhood was ‘perfect’ and ‘normal’.As I got older I began to see flaws in my parents. They had separated but not divorced when I was 7 years old, however what I didn’t know was that separation, would be the beginning of a very twisted and warped game between the two leaving me in the middle. Not knowing mwhich parent to believe or turn to. I often describe this as my parents playing a game of piggy in the middle - me being the piggy.The amount of times I stopped reading and sat back, absolutely stunned at what I was reading. A few little changes and it could have been me telling this exact story. Even down to the name of Annette, playing the same exact role in my mother’s life.It was only when I was 20, I had two beautiful daughters and I’d just met the man I would go on to marry and have more children with, that I started to see that things going on with my parents, weren’t normal or perfect at all. I have spent the past 20 years being the piggy, falling for sob stories, believing one parent to then be told a story by the other that would completely contradict the other. My parents have always had the impression that in order to have a relationship with me, and be involved in my life that they had to be completely in control. When I started to remove that control and put my boundaries in place, they’d completely disown me and tell everybody that wanted to hear it how bad I had been towards them, making it out as if they were the victims and I was the big bad wolf. Two and a half years ago I decided to go no contact with my mum because my mental health deteriorated and I knew for my own sanity that it was the only way I could begin my journey of recovery. My dad, dipped in and out of my life still in these two and a half years. Still to this day, they still play games, twist things, try to manipulate everyone so that they’d turn against me. My mum has lied to her whole family, and me that she had cancer before I was born. She even went as far as shaving her head and disappearing when she had her “treatment” coming back exhausted. She admitted her lie when I confronted her at a time she was an inpatient in hospital concerned for her health and that the cancer could return. I was going to ask the doctor what the possibilities were of this happening, only for her to break down in tears confessing she never had cancer, she only told the lie in the first place because my dad was working nights at a taxi company and she wanted to see if he would drop everything to be by her side. I could go on all day, but I will spare Amazon my life story!Helen, if you see this I want you to know that I have finished this book in less than 48 hours after stumbling across it on the kindle unlimited page. Your book has made me see that I’m not going crazy, I’m not alone and most importantly, I can get through this and move forward with my family that I have created. I would love to reach out to you and have a conversation because I haven’t ever known anybody that I could relate to so much with this sort of thing. All of this time I thought I was alone, I thought I was the problem and I’m to blame.Thank you, so much for taking the time to tell your story. You are incredible and I’m proud of you!Highly recommend this amazing book.

Riveting but upsetting read. Well narrated, I read some of this shaking through being reminded my own discoveries as an adult child of a narcissistic mother. I too had my arm broken and not set. I too have battled with anxiety and depression due to her behaviour. It is awful knowing others had similar experiences. I’m fortunate in that I broke free, my mother is still alive but I’m no contact. No guilt anymore. I wish Helen all happiness and healing. You are the absolute opposite of your mother. Your children are blessed xxx

‘My Mother, Munchausen’s and Me’ is a memoir focusing on Helen Naylor’s troubled relationship with her mother, Elinor.Ten years ago Helen discovered that her mother had been faking debilitating illnesses for thirty years. Then after Elinor’s death, Helen found the diaries that she had been writing daily for fifty-five years. Having these allowed Helen to do a “psychological autopsy” and as she writes: “as I unravelled my mother, I unravelled myself.” Throughout the text she includes excerpts from these diaries.While I don’t read many memoirs, I was drawn by the title as the phenomena of Münchausen Syndrome along with its related ‘by proxy’ seems so inexplicable.I am sure many readers will relate to having to deal with relations or friends who seek attention by constantly going on about their ‘aliments’ though this was a completely different level in which someone is actually falsifying symptoms.I will admit that it took me a little while to get into this book. Yet it wasn’t long until I was caught up in Helen’s account and read it in a single day. At some points I had to remind myself that I wasn’t reading fiction but someone’s real life experiences.Elinor’s bullying, body shaming, and manipulation of Helen at times made for uncomfortable reading though throughout I felt compassion for Helen and her family.I received a review copy from the publishers via NetGalley of the unabridged audiobook edition and did a combined read/listen. It was narrated by the author.With respect to the audiobook, this was such a raw, personal account that it felt very appropriate for Helen Naylor to read it herself, though I am certain that it wasn’t easy for her.I was pleased that in her letter to readers, that she included details of organisations and resources to assist those effected by these issues.Overall, I found myself moved by this memoir and felt that Helen Naylor was very brave in sharing her experiences.

i just devoured this book in a day and found the story engrossing, sad and relatable - even though my own mother is nothing like Eleanor, I think everyone can relate to knowing someone who is a much more diluted version of her!I love that Helen works hard to maintain neutrality within this book, telling her truth while acknowledging that others might see things differently. It would have been very easy for Helen to leave out conflicting details like her mum's death certificate, or the voices of friends who disagreed with her interpretation of events, but she chooses to add them in, along with her own moments of self doubt.I imagine that recovering from not only a lost childhood but 30-odd years of dealing with her mother's narcissism will take quite a lot of getting over, but I hope that writing this book has been therapeutic for Helen. Finding out who she is now that the shadow of her mother isn't clouding her life, I'm pleased to say that I found this book to be well-written and engaging, so maybe the future will include another book, hopefully on a happier subject.