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S**Y
My review will have given them 10+ stars
I can't praise these authors enough. In fact, they are due for another book and I look forward to reading it. Having already read , "Influencer" and "Crucial Conversation" , I knew what to expect from these excellent writers with Crucial Confrontation.General OverviewThe reasons I love these books are because at the end of each book, they do a beautiful job of tying all together. For me this is extremely important. After reading 300+ pages, at the end they tell you, what does it all mean to me and how can I use these wonderful skills in my own life. They summarizes it all and give you specific examples that you can use NOW to become better skill person on handling high stake conversations or confrontations or influencing people or a group of people.They tell you to practice one specific skill a week until you get the hang of it. So many books spew theories and concepts and at the end say thank you very much and I hope you use what we just told you and you like what. How? where do I start? there is just too much information, etc, etc. On the opposite side, these incredible authors tell you exactly how to use the skills, they will say if there are two things you walk away from this book, they are, (example in this book, establish safety and describe the gap) and give you examples. There is so much I can say and praise these three books and especially Crucial Confrontation( my favorite)but I say only that I strongly recommend for you to pick one up and find out for yourself.Crucial ConfrontationThere is a three concept model that you use and these are the skills that good and excellent practitioners use when there is a crucial confrontation.The model has three component of Confrontation: The Before, The During and The After- with a Side Bar for unexpected contingenciesThe Before: This is when you plan how you going to confront this person, who betray your trust, or , started rumors or is out to get you. Is the WHAT and IF concept.WHAT exactly happened, and WHAT issue are you going to confront-get the facts, and usually there are many issues involved, that need to be confronted , they talked bad about you, they told a specific lie , but I believe the bigger issue is the relationship, this is a person who you trusted and is lying about you, The confrontation many times is the relationship, and that is what should be confronted. Also, it talks IF , you should confront the person. Is it worth it? what will you lose if you don't, how much is it bothering you.The second part of the equation, is not to get angry , you have to leave your emotions out of it. This is done what the authors call, MASTER MY STORY, think of reasons why this person is doing it ( besides being just evil), the question to ask , why would a decent rational person do this. The idea is to make the person , human and not a villain and it that way to approach it in a more normal conversation and not going in there half cocked and ready to do battle.Real important in this phase is to ask yourself: What do I really want out of this confrontation? This will keep you focus. Also, a technique you can use in this phase is called CPR: C=Content( facts) P=Pattern( this is the second time) last R= relationship(trust).During the confrontation: the authors called it, DESCRIBE THE GAP. this is where you tell the story (facts) not conclusions, just the facts-of what is expected and what happened. The most important part of this is to create safety. Safety is created by stating the mutual purpose you both have and thinking before hand -what is the worse this person think I am saying and use contrast to say what you mean and not mean like I'm not accusing you of lying but I want to get the facts. Start with the facts (how you start, the first 10 seconds are crucial and set the tone for the confrontation it should start and end with a tentative question) and by ending with a question, it helps diagnose the problem. After you listen, look for motivation and ability. Make it motivating and make it easy for them and this has to do more with work , them personal relationships. The book says look at six sources of influence.After the confrontation- AGREE ON A PLAN AND FOLLOW UP. This basically means that you can tell the person, I can count on you for support - most important, Who does what , when and who will follow up and ask the question, are we leaving out any barriers or unforeseen things. Let discuss this in 30 days and we where we are, this is very important-remember mutual purpose.And the side bar, STAY FOCUS AND FLEXIBLE, and what that means, they might throw in another problem and you have to decide deal with the new problem, is it more serious (if you do, you bookmark the original problem and say we'll get back to that later, let discuss this new situation I was not aware of) , if the new problem is a small or distracting tactic, you get back to the original problem.I love this book, Buy it, read it and it will definitely improve your life with people..
J**K
Good Concepts
Bought this book because I am not good at confrontations. Absolutely hate them. It was recommended by a good friend. This book gave some good insights in to when it's appropriate to confront someone. Overall, probably more appropriate for individuals who might like confrontation a little more than I do and may need to tone it down, but as an introvert I still took some good things away that I can apply in my business and every day life.
R**5
A book you'll keep in your office from now on!
Seriously good read. This book is based on extensive research. They followed over 25,000 people over 2 decades in multiple industries to come up with the best practices based on both the good and the bad. It gets 5 stars for a few reasons. First, it's not dry in the least. Patterson, Grenny, McMillan, and Switzler have compiled their methodology in an enlightening and often amusing way. I found myself laughing at their occasionally sarcastic undertones. However, the message was not sarcastic. Second, this book challenges you to find that space between cause and effect and fill it with as much information as possible, while getting yourself in control. The CPR method of content, pattern, and relationship really helps to pull the details of the confrontation into focus. It helps you deliver an effective message to the individual in your crucial confrontation which highlights the "real" issue and seeks a meaningful and effective end to it all. They challenge you to work on yourself first by mastering your story. In short, they tell you that before you go on a rampage and mow down the assailant, you must recognize that there is more to the story. For example, in order to understand the entirety of the situation, one of the many things you must do is to create a safe environment where the individual can open up and explain the rest of the story. This book goes beyond simplistic ideas of how to handle crucial confrontations. It breaks down what you need to do, gives you multiple examples, and emphasizes follow-up. Without follow-up, history is doomed to repeat itself regardless of circumstance. They incorporate the need for motivation, making it easy for the individual in question, staying focused and flexible due to emergent issues, etc. For some, this is common sense. If that is you, we need more people like you. For the majority of us, this is news! The message of this book is only useful if you can follow their advice and move forward with a cool head.Don't read any reviews with negative commentary. This book is necessary for everyone in leadership and management. It is necessary for anyone who deals with other human beings. In short, it takes what confrontation skills you've assimilated over the course of your life and sharpens and adds to them.
A**R
Perfect condition
perfect condition
C**E
great to listen to over and over
I love this series of books. I have listened to them all several times and get something different out of them each time. They give practical examples that help you apply the knowledge.
F**N
A must-have for parents, leaders and people who want to improve their communication skills
I've had this book for more than a year now and I always go back to it whenever I am facing a possible confrontation. In this book you can find the help you need to become better at handling confrontations. The authors show you step by step what you have to take into consideration so you can address a problem by treating the people being confronted skillfully and in a respectful manner.
M**
A book everyone should read
Listened to the audiobook and had quite a few epiphanies! Book came in excellent condition. Thank you
B**S
Good Read
Great tips and process in dealing with a difficult topic.
A**O
Five Stars
worth your time to read it.
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