Co-Regulation Handbook: Creating Competent, Authentic Roles for Kids with Social Learning Differences, So We All Stay Positively Connected Through the Ups and Downs of Learning

Like her previous book (and my all-time favorite parenting help book) the Declarative Language Handbook, Murphy’s latest Co-Regulation Handbook strikes a perfect balance between general concepts that get your creativity flowing and concrete examples to help you ease into the practice of Co-Regulation.Briefly, Co-Regulation helps foster shared focus, strengthen relationships, and increase confidence, particularly social confidence. This is especially helpful for parents and educators of children on the Autism spectrum, but I believe this book is universal enough to be worth reading for anyone working with kids. My biggest takeaway was to slow down, meet the child where they are, and know that patience, kindness, and consistency will bring about the desired results.For anyone who has a child whose default response to a request is “no” (much like my own child), it was illuminating to read that these “no’s” often come from a place of anxiety. The child isn’t sure of their own competence, or perhaps doesn’t know what role they are supposed to play in a new situation. So instead of just trying it out, they say no to avoid the unknown. Using Co-Regulation skills, a caretaker can partner with the child, using teamwork, declarative language, competent and meaningful mini-tasks, and a whole lot of patience to get past that “no” of anxiety.I know I’ll be revisiting this book again in the fall as my girls start school, as Murphy has two excellent chapters that deal with peer-relationships and competitive sports, and how we as parents can use Coregulation skills to help our children with social challenges develop meaningful friendships. For now, I see each day, even each task should I so choose, as an opportunity to invite my daughter into a partnership of joint attention - strengthening our relationship, giving her more confidence, and incrementally increasing her independence.

This is real life help that supports the research Maria Montessori did. But Linda doesn’t know it’s all in Montessori. She writes what she has observed. And it covers the tech that MM did not have in her world. I have bought at least six copies to share.

As much as I loved Declarative Language, Linda Murphy's first book, this one might be even more useful. I'm midway through it and I am just blown away of how clear everything is explained and how applicable it is. As a parent of a kid with special needs, Declarative Language helped me realized how much I command, question, direct, and test my kid. And with awareness comes the desire to change. Both the Declarative Language and the Co-regulation handbook give me the tools for this change. Tools for deep, meaningful, and respectful connection with my child. Such easy read both books, but they really hit me in a profound way. The Co-regulation book stands on its own, but do yourself a favor and read Declarative Language too. Such gentle, but powerful, guidance for parents.

I just read “Correlation Handbook” and “Declarative Language Handbook.” As a special education teacher preparing my older students to transition out of school, I truly value the collaborative approach to problem solving and communication that Linda provides for us in these books. They are full of practical examples, ideas, and scripts that I can use tomorrow with my students in the classroom. I recommend these handbooks to anyone working with people who have learning differences or disabilities. To any teacher who is differentiating instruction in order to increase the independence of their students. And especially to those who value partnership in learning and teaching. Linda highlights how much our words and actions help us to succeed, grow and build meaningful relationships.

This book is a beautifully written guide on how to better connect with your child. When your child experiences the world differently, this connection is so important. This book walks you through how to turn everyday moments into meaningful experiences where both you and your child feel successful. It is easy to read, and gives many examples on how to put ideas into action. Practicing co-regulation has been life changing for myself and my son. This book is a must read for parents of kids with social learning differences!

A very easy read and things I can do now as a parent and a teacher! Using this as a book group at school

This is extremely helpful is creating easy to use support strategies in the moment. I’ve found it beneficial when working with students, clients and family. It has help foster success through competent roles and ultimately supports stronger relationships. Highly recommend.

Linda provides clear examples in this easy to read book. The strategies described are also easy to implement right away! I now see co-regulation opportunities throughout my day with my children and we are building so many nice positive memories with each other. I can already see the confidence growing in my children as they take on these competent roles. Every parent should read this book!!!!

Comment construire la motivation interne chez un « apprenti » quel qu’il soit.L’auteur est limpide dans ses explications, et les conseils sont applicables dans la vraie vie.Pour mon fils et moi, cette façon d’apprendre et d’être ensemble a été une vraie révélation.

I would probably say this would be better described as a book about collaboration, rather than co-regulation. I was expecting a book about emotional and nervous system co-regulation, which is what I think of when I hear the term co-regulation. Instead this is about working side by side with your child to achieve a common aim, such as doing household or self-care tasks, so is perhaps best suited to parents with children who are not independent in these kind of tasks.