Look Evelyn, Duck Dynasty Wiper Blades, We Should Get Them.: A Collection of New Essays

Let’s face it. If you’re reading this review to decide if David Thorne is worth your money then you are either a grandma thinking of buying this for your descendant, or you’re a bit of a sociopath. Not the kind of sociopath that has people in their crawlspace, mind you, but rather the kind of sociopath that didn’t understand why the girl cried when, after your first kiss, you explained that you practiced your technique by making a hole in a watermelon. And that given the cool sensation when you first started in on the fruit you preferred the watermelon to her, but once it warmed up you can clearly see the advantages of your companion, especially since she is less sticky. As such, you will like this book and the few intense bits that are not overtly funny will strike you as more of a children’s movie narrative where they are required to get rid of the protagonist’s parents as quickly and brutally as possible so that the only-noticeable-after-the-movie-ends tragedy can bear a happy dividend later on once its forgotten. The intense bits in this book are fascinating on many levels—several of them Freudian. To tell you the truth, I miss those people as much as the parents in that movie about the freezing orphaned girls who parents drowned in a sea storm while thinking “You know, we really should have let the older one out of her room more. And what was the younger one doing with all of those watermelons? I meant to ask glug, glug, glug…” Now ship them girls off to abusive relatives with two stair closets, I say. If you do too, then this book is most certainly your cup of tea. If you’re a grandma then you’re not a sociopath. Its genetic. Or I should say you’re not a sociopath to people outside your own family. You may consider that your descendant who wants this book could be a touch sociopathic if they know who David Thorne is, in which case I fail to see how delaying them from reading the book will prevent their inevitable downward spiral towards sticky faces, crying girls and reading further extreme satire tomes. But then again, I liked the book so there’s that for you.

David Thorne's previous book, "I'll Go Home Then, It's Warm and Has Chairs," has made me laugh until I had tears streaming down my face and pissed my pants MULTIPLE times. I can re-read it and laugh just as much as the first time. One time, over dinner at a burger place, I was telling two friends about it and I made myself laugh so hard I spewed soda all over the table, my lap, and the floor around my seat. Fortunately, the restaurant was the type where you get up for your own napkins.This book is enjoyable, but it's not spew-your-coke funny. If you love David's writing, you'll enjoy this one, but it's different than I expected! This time, many of the stories come to shocking or horrible endings rather than hilarious ones, such as children or pets dying and a shooting incident that plays out like something out of a Tarantino movie. The book almost feels like a stream-of-consciousness novel. The humor is great when it's there, of course, but I only pissed my pants once this time ("Is it Eric's mother?"). I particularly enjoyed the stories involving his wife, Holly, and his friend, Geoffrey. And David describing his elaborate shower routine is amazing.TL; DR - If you love his work, go for it. If you have no idea how you got here or what's going on, check out the previous one and/or his website. And avoid ALL magic tea.

I was shocked to find out that this copy was signed by the author! Definitely a wonderful surprise that I didn't expect. The book was in great condition too!

While the material in the book is appropriately laughter-inducing, I am removing one star from my review as my Kindle Edition did not come with the expected Duck Dynasty Wiper Blades. I am sure those who purchased the Hardcover Edition are all out, book in hand, gleefully performing horribly inappropriate acts with their brand spanking new wiper blades. However, since I do most of my reading during my morning commute on the New York City subway, I had decided that dual-wielding a red hardcover book like a matador with a very tiny over-starched cape and a pair of wiper blades around pre-caffeinated New Yorkers in a crowded subway carriage would very likely result in me arriving at work missing a couple of teeth and bleeding from the nose.Nevertheless, I had expected that the Kindle Edition would have come with at least an attached drawing of said wiper blades and am terribly disappointed that this was not the case. Therefore, I am withholding one star from this review. David, I am sure this was just an unfortunate oversight and would be happy to email you a screenshot of the missing star upon receipt of your drawing of my Duck Dynasty Wiper Blades. Thank you.

One of the funniest books I've read, and better than the last two (which I also enjoyed and would recommend). It's marketed as a collection of essays, but if that puts you off, don't worry about it, I think they just said that because there's not a clear narrative to it. It meanders and jumps back and forth and goes off on tangents, but it's more like a novel than a collection of essays. Somewhat reminiscent of something by Mil Millington, except ostensibly true (although probably a lot of it is made up or at least embellished). It gets quite dark in places, but at other times I had to put the book down because I was laughing too hard to be able to keep reading.If you're not familiar with Thorne and you're wondering if you'll like this, read Missing Missy. If you like that I think you'll like this book.

I love his dry sarcastic sense of humour. He's a really great writer and a great storyteller too.

Classic David Thorne really. If you enjoy his work you'll enjoy this. Having said that this book takes a slightly different approach to that of his previous two. Less original emails but coutnerbalances this with stories and anecdotes of this upbringing and life so far. Good read

I've read David Thorne's previous books and this is just as much down my alley. I can't even begin to explain the amount of coffee that's dribbled out of my mouth from laughter. Excellent read, would recommend.

This is another very humorous book from the very talented David Thorne. I would thoroughly recommend buying this book immediately, if not sooner. It will also protect you from Tigers.

As I hoped, it made me laugh. A lot. In a similar vein to the previous two books, but a few more autobiographical anecdotes and less email wind ups.