Death Wish Coffee Valhalla Java Dark Roast Ground Coffee, 12 Oz, Bold & Intense Blend of Arabica Robusta Beans, USDA OrganicFair Trade CertifiedFair Trade CertifiedFair Trade Certified

Greetings, fellow caffeine enthusiasts! Today I'm here to talk to you about Deathwish coffee, more specifically, the Valhalla blend. Buckle up and prepare for a wild ride, I've had two cups of this coffee and I feel like I need to go to jail.Now, in case you didn't know, let's start with the basics. "Valhalla" is essentially viking heaven, and literally translates to "hall of the slain" in old norse. The smell of these bad boys is enough to make me feel like I could learn every norse language overnight. It's like a concentrated shot of pure energy sneaking up your nose and tap dancing on your olfactory receptors. One whiff, and you'll be convinced that you can smell colors and hear flavors. Don't be surprised if you find yourself in full viking garb at two in the morning—it's a common side effect.When it comes to taste balanced with caffeine content, these beans really do take it to the next level. Brace yourself for a flavor explosion that'll make fireworks jealous. The first sip hits your taste buds like a lightning strike, awakening every single nerve ending in your mouth. It's like a party where all the flavors are invited—chocolate, caramel, and a dash of extra zing that makes your taste buds sing. If you're looking for a coffee that slaps you awake like a caffeinated kangaroo, this is the way to go.Of course, we can't ignore the insane caffeine content. These beans pack a punch that could send a rocket ship to Neptune. With just one cup, you'll be ready to run a marathon, solve complex equations, and juggle flaming torches—all at the same time. However, it's essential to approach this level of caffeine with caution. Too much, and you might find yourself speaking at a million words per minute, inventing a new language, or challenging your neighbors to a coffee-fueled dance-off. Legend on the school bus has it that Jimmy down the street drank four cups and ran to Nebraska.The real fun begins when you share with your friends. Imagine a gathering where everyone is fueled by this ultra-caffeinated elixir. Conversations become a rapid-fire exchange of ideas, jokes, and nonsensical brilliance. It's like an episode of a caffeinated sitcom, where laughter is contagious and snorts become the soundtrack of the night. Just make sure to have a camera ready—you'll want to capture those priceless moments of pure caffeine-induced hilarity. Seriously, forget whatever methodology D.A.R.E. and Cocaine Anonymous use these days- this stuff alone is enough to convince me I never need another mind-altering substance.In conclusion, these are not just coffee beans—they're a passport to a legendary world of caffeinated adventure. From the electrifying packaging to the flavor explosion and the side-splitting effects, these beans are the ultimate catalyst for laughter. Grab a bag, gather your wittiest friends, and embark on a journey where every sip is a punchline waiting to happen. Remember, life is too short to drink ordinary coffee. Embrace the madness and let the laughter flow like a caffeine-powered river. For Valhalla!

The Death Wish Coffee Valhalla Java Dark Roast Grounds have taken my coffee journey to an exhilarating new level, and I'm thrilled to award them a well-deserved five-star rating. If you're a fan of robust, full-bodied coffee that delivers an intense wake-up call, this blend is an absolute must-try.From the moment I opened the bag, I was greeted by an intoxicating aroma that hinted at the boldness within. The deep, rich scent set the stage for what turned out to be a truly remarkable coffee experience. The dark roast profile is evident in every sip, providing a level of depth and complexity that keeps me coming back for more.The flavor is nothing short of exceptional. With each cup, I'm treated to a symphony of bold, earthy notes that dance on my taste buds. The blend strikes a perfect balance between boldness and smoothness, ensuring that while the coffee is intense, it remains remarkably drinkable.What sets this coffee apart is its impressive caffeine content. If you're looking for a serious energy boost to kickstart your day, look no further. The Valhalla Java lives up to its name, invoking a sense of invigoration and strength akin to the legendary Norse warriors it's named after.The packaging is equally noteworthy. The dark, mystic design aligns perfectly with the coffee's persona, and the resealable bag ensures that the grounds remain fresh and flavorful with every brew.It's important to note that while this coffee is undoubtedly a powerhouse, it might not be suitable for those who prefer milder blends. However, if you're a true coffee aficionado who craves intense flavor and a jolt of energy, the Valhalla Java is an experience you won't want to miss.In conclusion, the Death Wish Coffee Valhalla Java Dark Roast Grounds have earned their five-star rating by delivering a bold, captivating coffee experience that goes beyond the ordinary. With its exceptional flavor, high caffeine content, and carefully crafted packaging, this blend is a true gem for those seeking an unforgettable cup of coffee. Whether you're facing a challenging day or simply want to savor the richness of a well-crafted brew, the Valhalla Java is your perfect companion.

This is some great coffee! It has a really good rich flavor. Without the burnt or bitter taste of some more expensive coffees.

The strongest coffee I've ever had and also it doesn't taste like engine degreaser (although you probably could degrease an engine with this stuff lol). In fact it's one of the more dynamic coffees I've had with very earthy undertones and a generally smooth taste that doesn't hit you in the face, but let's you know it's there, plus just an absolute crap load of caffeine to get me moving in the morning!

I have been getting Valhalla Java often as a treat as well as something fun to drink. Breaks up the routine of the usual coffee I get from the store. As much as I love this coffee (which I assure you it is a lot), it always bugs me how I can get a tin of something for half the cost, and just because there's a name associated with this, that means the price goes up tremendously. Hey, this asked me for a review, so I am being honest with my own thoughts. The coffee is great, taste is awesome, price just sucks sometimes. Especially cost to amount. I understand how things work with the whole "Buying the name" sort of thing. But, I'd be more inclined to get this on a more frequent basis if the price dipped a bit.