I Am, I Am, I Am: Seventeen Brushes With Death: The Breathtaking Number One Bestseller

Maggie O’ Farrell is a wonderful writer of fiction. Here, she shows herself to be an equally wonderful writer of something more obviously personal – recounting various times in her life where she came close to realising her mortality, through the potential of dying. Near misses, one might say.O’Farrell has divided each potential encounter with not being, by time, and by the part of the body or psyche where vulnerability struck.Perhaps it is the large number of close shaves, of different kinds, which have made her fiercely embrace her ‘I Am’The first near brush is a horrible encounter, as a young woman on a holiday job, with someone later convicted of murdering young women. Some kind of instinct took Farrell to take exactly the right kind of evasive action which kept her safe:“I could have said that I have an instinct for the onset of violence. That, for a long time, I seemed to incite it in others for reasons I never quite understood. If, as a child, you are struck or hit, you will never forget that sense of your own powerlessness and vulnerability, of how a situation can turn from benign to brutal in the blink of an eye, in the space of a breath. That sensibility will run in your veins, like an antibody”O’ Farrell has that ability a writer must have, to be within a situation and able, simultaneously to reflect on it, to see wider contextsMaking a plane journey which turned somewhat hazardous, and which had only happened because her journey through academia had failed to deliver the expected results, and so led to a changed career path, made her aware, later“That the things in life which don’t go to plan are usually more important, more formative, in the long run, than the things that do.You need to expect the unexpected, to embrace it. The best way, I am about to discover, is not always the easy way”Brushes with mortality have been her own, and also, more heart-breakingly for any parent, anguish over a child’s health. Maggie O’ Farrell, by virtue of surviving her various own ‘near death’ encounters, had almost felt a kind of invulnerability“The knowledge that I was lucky to be alive, that it could so easily have been otherwise, skewed my thinking. I viewed my continuing life as a bonus, a boon: I could do with it what I wanted”That sense of having control over your own destiny, if one has it, crumbles in the face of a child’s fragility:"Holding my child, I realised my vulnerability to death; I was frightened of it, for the first time. I knew too well how fine a membrane separates us from that place, and how easily it can be perforated.”Maggie O’Farrell has a daughter born with an immunology disorder. She is both more prone to weakened immunity from common pathogens, and extreme over-reactivity to various foodstuffs to the point where she will go into anaphylactic shock – nuts, sesame, eggs, bee or wasp stings – even to the extent that if she comes into contact for example with crumbs from a nut cookie on an improperly cleaned café table. She, and her family, have to live in constant vigilanceIt might sound as if this is a dreadfully depressing book, a catalogue of woes – of course, it isn’t.In its strange way, this is celebratory, a reminder to cherish the wonder of our fragile, strong, livingness

All seemed far too over dramatic for me.I’m sure many ladies reading this book can empathise with some of the situations the author has found herself in, perhaps even gone through similar situations ourselves. Did we think we had a ‘brush with death’? Most probably not, just unlucky.While there is no doubt she writes beautifully and uses the most wonderfully descriptive language, there’s only so many times you can read about her ‘near misses’ without thinking she’s a bit of a drama queen and that her glass is always half empty.It’s a shame that this is the first of her books I have read, as it’s put me off reading others if they’re also in the same melodramatic vein. Don’t choose this if you want a cheery holiday read.

I've read a few novels by this author and always enjoyed them so was curious to read her memoir - particularly in such an unusual format i.e. reminiscing about her frequent brushes with death.The book is presented as a series of essays, the subjects of which seem to move around the authors body, illustrating the various ways that she has nearly died.I was sucked into the book straightaway and found it to be a hugely gripping read. It seems highly implausible that one person can have so many near death experiences but there is no option but to believe the stories and go with the narrative as truth is often stranger than fiction.There is a feeling of fiction which sits on top of the facts which adds emotion, physical descriptions and other nuances that fact alone may not be able to portray. This results in a book that is very accessible and the short memories stick in the mind of the reader.Woven within the stories is a fluidity which continues to draw in the reader which pairs with the wonderful vocabulary and gives a marvelous reading experience. It's a very personal reveal and a lot can be learnt about the author.I particularly enjoyed that the stories are all separate - they jump around in time but are held together by small threads which seem to represent the soul of the writer.It is a strange and unconventional way to look at a person and its fair to say that Maggie O'Farrell has had more drama in her life than most people which has undoubtedly given her some fantastic material for this and her other books.You cannot help going away from this book feeling that the author have revealed the depths of her soul and in some ways she has. However she has skillfully bypassed the everyday details that make a person real. I don't want to say that the book is too deep but there are some of the outer layers of the personality that are missing.

I am I am I am in awe of Maggie O’Farrell what a beautifully written memoir, so honest and raw."In the novel, the scene ends here, with Nina realising that the child they are discussing, the child who is dying,is her, but life, of course, is different. It carries on. No one yells, ‘CUT!’ No one puts in a full stop and leaves the chapter neatly there."Want to add a caption to this image? Click the Settings icon.O’Farrell shares with us some very personal experiences and near death encounters.I loved that the book wasn’t written in chronological order, it felt like you were just dipping in and out of her life. Some of the things she has been through just boggle the mind. I did feel that some of the ‘near death experiences’ we a bit of a push but I can see how they are relevant to the narrative and have shaped her into the person she is today.I think I also enjoyed this book so much because a lot of the material about miscarriage and kids with allergies really resonated with me,"I never understood the blanket secrecy your suppose to apply to early pregnancy. Certainly, I've never felt the need to broadcast the news far and wide, but it seems to me that pregnancy at any stage is significant, life-changing enough to warrant telling those closest to you. Even if something as devastating as pregnancy-loss happens, wouldn't you want your close friends, your family to know? Who else would you turn to at such a time? How else do you explain the grief, the stunned pain on your face, the tears, the shock? Because loosing a bay, a foetus, an embryo, a child, a life, even at a very early stage, is still a shock like no other."I will definitely be reading more of her work, I know they will be very different as this was based on her real life experiences but her writing style is so engaging that I think anything she writes will be good.

A life story with a difference, one told entirely through near death experiences. I was so captivated by this audiobook I devoured the memoir in a single day. The narration by Daisy Donovan was spellbinding and at points I found myself listening with my eyes closed so I could fully immerse myself in the words. I’ve since listened to the book again and now own a hardback copy with my favourite passages highlighted.The book is broken down into episodes zig zagging across decades and destinations, beginning with an encounter on a remote path that chilled me for days afterwards. As O’Farrell observes we are all closer to death than we may realise: “We are, all of us, wandering about in states of oblivion, borrowing our time, seizing our days, escaping our fates, slipping through loopholes, unaware of when the axe may fall.” The book is thought provoking and conversation starting – while our stories may not be book worthy a cursory count in my close family unearthed 13 near-death experiences between five of us.O’Farrell is a natural storyteller and skilfully describes everything from devastating childhood encephalitis to an encounter with a machete wielding mugger with a lack of sentimentality which allows for more empathy than a constant stream of self-pity. There were stories that made me hold my breath, moved me to tears and filled me with rage.The final section – Daughter – is set in the present day and is one of the boldest and most startling chapters of a book I have ever read. O’Farrell’s daughter was born with a severe immunology disorder and the threat of anaphylaxis means her fight for life is something the family are faced with on a daily basis. The final chapter ramps up the sense of danger and urgency and whilst O’Farrell may have downplayed her own struggles you cannot help but feel the passion for her child leap off the page. It’s a book that makes you appreciate your every breath and be thankful that the author managed to survive this long to tell her tale.