Home by Choice: Raising Emotionally Secure Children in an Insecure World

I read this in 1990 as I contemplated returning to my high speed high potential career. The book changed me and without it being the focus of the book, I ended up homeschooling my kids(not the purpose of the book mind you) and it validated my desire to be an intentional mother. I cannot say enough good about this book and how God used it for the trajectory of my life! I will NEVER regret putting career on hold to be available to my children. Best book i ever read in preparation for parenting

Hunter believes in the importance of motherhood. Children who have mothers who work outside the home are children who are for the most part deprived. She examines the psychological research on attachment, the effects of a mother's absence, and the effects of institutional day care to support her thesis that children are better off if mothers raise their own children. "[E]arly parenting history influences marital choice, self-esteem, and our ability to be intimate with spouse and children" (p. 30). Her book is packed full of the stories of woman and children, as well as her own.Hunter doesn't stop there, however. She even examines the parental background of working women to find many women who put career first felt they received little parental love and support as children themselves. Managerial women often have negative views of their mother, and may be attempting to gain the love and approval of their fathers by means of a career. She uses the lives of feminist Betty Friedan, Gloria Steinem, and Germaine Greer as examples. Even older children need mothers who are in the home. Hunter found that drug abuse, academic achievement, emotional problems, and crime are all highly correlated with broken homes or emotionally distant parents.What is a mother to do? If they are like my family, it almost is a financial necessity for moms to work if the family is to make ends-meet. Hunter gives some practical advice in starting a home business, in starting careers in middle-age, and in dealing with depression and the man in a women's life. Again she gives example after example in the attempt to encourage mothers who feel a sense of helplessness when feeling they are forced to work outside the home.Hunter calls for a radical change in the modern yuppie family.

Home by Choice: Raising Emotionally Secure Children in an Insecure World as the title suggests, is a book about the importance the mother-child bond plays in the healthy development of a child. According to Dr. Hunt the best way to ensure your child's optimal emotional, physical and emotional development is to stay home and make parenting your children your primary responsibility.Dr. Hunt speaks from her own experience and candidly shared the mistakes she made raising her own children. She offers hope and advice to all mothers of young children. Drawing on both her own experience and the latest research Dr. Hunt shows mothers how to form a strong and lasting bond of attachment with their children even though you may not have had that as a child. She also explains why a child needs to bond with his mother (not caregivers or grandparents) - There are hidden implications that you may never have even considered.She then goes on to explain why daycare research done by female psychologists may not always be accurate and how they are sometimes very unfairly biased. Everything I read made sense, especially when I thought of my husband. He was raised by a cold, unloving and emotionally unavailable woman and is still suffering because of it.The many negative side effects of daycare that Dr. Hunt describes in Home By Choice are also clearly visible in my nephew who is the product of a broken home and was in daycare from the time he was 3 years old.Unlike other books on the importance of being a stay at home mom, Dr. Hunt acknowledges that many moms have no choice but to work. She provides a few alternatives to full-time employment outside the home, such as part-time employment or working from home. She says "Part-time employment allows a woman to maintain her skills and still go grocery shopping, attend Little League games, volunteer at school and at Church, and have something left in her emotional bank for her children and husband on a daily basis."And if you think that only younger children need you to be home, then you're wrong. An entire chapter in "Home By Choice" is dedicated to why teenagers need their moms as much as younger kids.And if you've been influenced by the work of ardent feminists such as Gloria Steinhem, Betty Friedan and Germaine Greer, then Dr. Hunt reveals the surprising link between these women's viewpoints and their troubled childhoods.The chapter on "Why Kids Kill" Dr. Hunt says that the absence of healthy attachment to parents is the reason that some kids turn into cold-blooded killers."Home by Choice" also has advice on how to create a life that nourishes mother and child, how to develop your talents as a stay at home mom, dealing with your own painful childhood, and with husbands who want you to work rather than stay home and care for your kids.All in all "Home by Choice" is a fantastic read, and I feel that it should be required reading for all moms.

This is a wonderful book that is clear and unapologetic about the fact that kids still need moms. Can anyone take a look at kids today with their growing obesity and diabetes rates as well as suicide, drugs, etc. rates and think that the kids are allright? Why are kids so unhealthy? They don't get enough exercise and they eat too many high-calorie foods. It's much easier for your kids to get some exericise if you are home to take them to the park or the pool and if you cook a home cooked meal and sit down together to do it.I worked for a while and had my son in daycare and I can tell you that he missed me and vice-versa! I saw him for breakfast and dinner and that was about it. We didn't have the time we have now.The author also speaks to the need to be home when kids are middle and high school age. Most of my friends don't think this, but at what age are they more likely to get in trouble by being home alone?I've started an at-home business and it's going pretty well. Believe me, you can have stimulating work that you love without suiting up and going out to work. You can also have a social life and it's one that you choose rather than just the people you are thrown together with at work. Yes, we live without most luxuries, but that is a blessing and not a curse. You can be replaced at work, someone else could do your job. There really is noone who can replace a child's mom.