Overcoming the Rating Game: Beyone Self-Love--Beyond Self-Esteem: Beyond Self-Love, Beyond Self-Esteem

good stuff. stop judging yourself with generalisations and start living

Es una lectura que he recomendado a muchísima gente, gran libro para empezar con la autoaceptación

Excelente libro. Claridad sobre el tema de la autoestima, sin reflexiones innecesarias. Práctico.

The idea of choosing not to rate yourself or others at all is a very useful antidote to the messages we usually receive from others e.g. If God gives you a bad rating, you'll burn in hell for all eternity; if you don't have a a lot of money in your bank account, an expensive house or car, you are a loser and deserve to be scorned; if you don't have white skin, you are inferior and deserve to be marginalized; if your employer does not approve of your performance, you are worthless and should buckle down, so you earn your employer's esteem. This book helps to combat the negative effects of all of those messages.The author does state at the beginning of chapter 3 that the self is every conceivable thing about you that can be rated e.g. your intelligence, strength, appearance, honesty, generosity etc. I'm not convinced that this is true. If you make a distinction between "you" and the resources that you use to exist on this planet, you can also do what the author recommends - rate your resources, but not yourself. For example, you may currently exist in a body that is very attractive. Other people may call you "hot" and you may feel good about yourself because other people approve of the way your body looks. You may also exist in a body that is not very attractive and other people may call you "ugly". You may feel bad about yourself because people do not perceive your body as attractive. Or you can do as the author suggests and refuse to rate yourself. You may indeed currently exist in a hot body or an ugly body, but that does not make you hot or ugly. It certainly doesn't mean that you need to determine how kind you are to yourself by looking at your body and figuring out how attractive it is. You can choose to be kind to yourself regardless of how attractive your body is to yourself or others. You can take this same approach with your body's IQ, the value of your house, car, work skills etc. Those are all resources that you use to exist in this world. Those resources can be more or less valuable, but you don't have to think that you are your resources and you don't have to rate yourself by looking at the value of your resources.

This is an excellent book on self-acceptance, performance-confidence, and gaining the respect of others. It is well written and short (100 pages) which helps in focusing on the development of the message. I think Hauck's presentation of the topic is sound and realistic. It includes many good examples from his work with clients. He makes it clear why self-acceptance is the thing to achieve rather than self-esteem.After reading this book and books by Albert Ellis, I am convinced that cognitive approachs are best for reducing disturbances. I expect the book would be a good supplement if you are getting psychotherapy that uses the rational emotive behavioral approach or the cognitive behavioral approach.As Hauck says, the book should be re-read to get the full benefit from it.

I have taught cognitive therapy for years and used Paul Hauck's other books. When i found he had one on self-esteem I had to get it. He has a great way of explaining complex ideas. I love his approach to the topic: the idea isn't to instill high self-esteem, but to explode the whole idea that there is any such a thing. It is refreshing to find a thinker who is willing to be that clear-headed.