The Primal Wound: Understanding The Adopted Child

I have only read up to Page 25 yet, and I felt led to write this review.Nancy, thank you for writing this incredible book. Rightly said, it is a must have for every adoptive family.Nancy has done a phenomenal job at making known the truth about the life of adoptees. Easy to read and very very engaging. I wish I could hand out a copy to EVERY adoptive family I know. This seriously is a must-have. It will save lives!From an adoptive mommy herself.

Highly recommended book for all

Great delivery by Amazon..hoping for better prices next time...Nancy Verrier I wish I could meet you...every thought of an adoptee perfectly summed...must read!!

Does not work with Indian system of adoption. Evidence is definitely one-sided and grim. With more than 3 adoptions in my family, I know situations where adoption works positively. Book has a hopeless feel. I feel sorry for buying it.

Really nice straightforward book to learn about spychology affecting adoptees and everyone of importance involved in their lives, primarily parents and mothers.

I was extremely hesitant to purchase this book as it has many mixed reviews from an adoptees perspective. If you're in denial about how adoption has affected your life, this book can definitely be a hard read. Without telling my own story, all I can say is that if you have any kind of abandonment issues, anger, or just any kind of feelings that you feel you haven't been able to address... this book not only explains them but validates the experience. It was extremely affirming to read and understand why I am the way I am. The tone of the book can be a little strong but her ability to be so blantaly honest adds to the validity of all the many feelings adoptees experience. Looking forward to reading the 2nd book of this as it does leave you feeling like... now what. Adoptees have trauma and as a society we need to stop ignoring its implications in our lives when not handled with honesty, love and compassion.

I am not someone who usually writes reviews however I feel I absolutely have to about this book.As a 50 year old long term divorced woman who is only twenty or so pages into this book, who has struggled with relationships her whole life, parental, friendship and intimate male/female relationships....I feel this book is talking to me!Deep down I knew a lot of my struggles to form and maintain relationships of any kind were down to my adoption (at 2 months old), however this book explains the impact of being removed from your biological mother and adoption has on adoptees.I finally feel like there is light at the end of the tunnel and that once I have finished reading this and her subsequent book (which is already on order) that I will truly learn to be happy - something that has evaded me for the past 50 years, except at surface level.I only wish I had known of this book and read it sooner and believe it should be made part of the adoption process for both biological and adoptive parents - and adoptees once old enough to read and understand it.Thank you Nancy I honestly believe your book will turn my life around

I had heard about this book a few years ago and finally knew it was time to read it. It is high time that adoptees have the right to express ourselves. As a child and even as a university student, other adults believed that they had the right to white-wash my adoption experience as if it had never happened. All they had to do was be quiet and listen. They did not need to say anything, only listen. Instead, they had to offer their fairy tale nonsense that my adoptive parents must have been wonderful people and I should be grateful that I turned out so well. Little do they ever know or bother to even notice the deep emptiness and hurt dwelling inside. And so it is high time that a book has been written that makes clear that yes, adoption is trauma and there are adoptees that are still hurting in adulthood. And, there are many experiences that are common and universal, that for some reason we were left out of and can never get back.Now that we know that separation from the birth mother causes trauma to a child, a further area of exploration would have to investigate the effects of a child in the womb of a mother who knows she cannot keep her child and must hide it. I am thinking of those of us who are from the era of forced adoptions (Baby Scoop). 9 months absorbing that fear also has its effects.This book should be mandatory for everyone and anyone involved in adoption.

I've wanted for years to stop being in a fog of grief. Finally, there's a ray of sunshine, showing me how to heal and that it is even possible. What an amazing person the author is. She approaches the subject of understanding the adoptee and the other members of the triad so beautifully, with such empathy and kindness and clarity, that is quite astonishing to me. If I was ever able to choose my birth mum or my adopted mum, I would want them to be like her.By understanding from the little baby's (me) point of view and validating that serious trauma that occurred, I can now start to examine how I coped with the abandonment and examine the beliefs I may have formed. By facing up to the damage done and my fears, I can finally stop feeling like a victim and trying to find someone to blame for my unhappy adoption experience. There is no one to blame, I now realize, unless I want to blame society as a whole for the failed adoption dream and experiment.I can stop whining, saying things like "why can't I just get over it" and "why isn't the sadness going away with time" and "how can I stop dwelling on it, how can I come to terms with it" and thinking for years that if I just ignored my grief, it would eventually fade away. I can see now that I have been grieving over something that I can never have again or ever get back, and knowing this has given me a new feeling of peacefulness.This book is such a revelation to me, and I am full of excitement at the possibility of consciously and slowly attempting to heal myself, finding my Self and becoming whole. I can't wait to read the next book and start the long, difficult road to the healing and towards freedom from feeling sorry for myself.