The Monogamy Myth: A Personal Handbook for Recovering from Affairs, Third Edition Paperback – January 27, 2003

I've read well over a dozen books on the subject and this by far was the most helpful in breaking down and examining the dynamics of affairs. For me, learning of my husband's affairs shattered the story that I'd told myself about my life, un-grounding my version of my own history and that of our marriage. It helped me contextualize the issue, understanding all the factors that play out in our society that don't support monogamy, despite our lip service to the institution. It was helpful to know how common infidelity is, now that people feel more free to disclose their experiences via anonymous online polls. It is a subject that we, as a society, surround in secrecy, which further isolates the faithful spouse. Understanding the storm of feelings that engulfed me after the discovery and knowing what I was experiencing was a commonly shared response, helped me keep my sanity through the tumultuous journey of healing. I also appreciated the authors framing of the issue through both a psychological and sociological lens, thus giving me a more unemotional view of the subject. This is a book not only for people dealing with the fall out of an affair/s, but I would also highly recommend it for any couple to read before they enter the institution of marriage, as a way of preventing affairs from happening.

My husband and I have been recovering from his 2 1/2 year infidelity for a year now. This book and "Not Just Friends" by Shirley Glass were the TWO absolutely most helpful things to get us through this time of crisis. I appreciate the courage of Peggy Vaughn to go public with the infidelity and the road towards recovery. I would have felt absolutely suicidal and alone without knowing that others had recovered from this. It is such an isolating and frightening experience. I agree with her - we need to get the public conversation going. People need to start talking about infidelity in a PRODUCTIVE way - not just a titillating way - if we are going to do anything to help prevent, recover, and heal from it. Also if we are going to do anything to keep families healthy and sane after its devastating effects.

I bought this book because it was recommended by Oprah I believe. I trust her recommendations and I did learn some from this book. Although Idk about the person who chooses to be unfaithful to not actually be at fault. I still think if you choose to be unfaithful you know what your doing and here it kinda gets that person off the hook in a way. I've never seen it put this way and in some ways I can kinda understand it but I do not agree with it.

While an affair is totally a personal decision, this book presents insight into factors that can impact how a person decides when confronted with the opportunity. Unfortunately society is accepting of affairs so there is no more societal ramifications to affairs. Personal yes but society even Christian organizations offer little help to keep marriages thriving but they are all too willing to jump in after divorce and families have been ripped apart. Are we meant to be with one person for our entire life or is marriage becoming a dying institution? I don’t know but this book helps to understand our teter toter view.

This is an excellent book and I highly recommend it for anyone who has been cheated on. It’s fair and easy to read. If you’ve never been in this situation, as I had not been, this book is an invaluable tool to navigate through your thoughts and emotions. So much of what is explained applied to my situation, it helped to know how normal I was in my thoughts and reactions. It’s important to do a lot of reading on the subject when this happens to you, and this book is the place to start.

I am not usually a self help book reader, but when my marriage was almost destroyed by infidelity, I felt like I needed to go into hiding. Enter: The Monogamy Myth. Unfortunately, any passage from this book I attempted to read made me depressed. It is brutally honest, and that is it's intent, but if you still feel like you're in emotional limbo, hold off just a little bit before you pick up a copy of this book. While I have made huge strides in my recovery and I feel like my marriage is healing well, I have not made any further attempt to read this book.

I have been struggling since my wife revealed five years ago about having some affairs. I thought it was all behind us until the told me a few months ago that it had been happening again and that she was done now.This book's approach to dealing with such a situation not by blaming or being a victim either has opened my eyes to understand that I really do not have to take it personally or blame either one of us. I am able to have compassion, for my wife and myself.I particularly like hearing about both men and women having affairs as so many books assume that the reader is a "wronged" woman.

Helpful to not feel alone that others have survived and I will too. I would definitely read this if you have been cheated on.

An amazing book with lots of usual suggestions which can help you through one of life's most difficult times.

I don't quite agree with all what she says...