Hourglass: Time, Memory, Marriage

It's hard to say how much I loved this book. I began to feel shaky and lost as I realized there were less than 20 pages left. Still, the deep understanding of the author's words, the honesty of her life unfolding into joys and worries, her quiet observations and questioning way about her life. As someone who was nicknamed "the thinking woman" by my husband, long before we married- as a response to my constant cerebral focus on our relationship... "what did you mean?" or "remember when you said that?" I appreciate the way Dani Shapiro clings to life's slings and arrows, processing, processing. Her writing is so beautiful- smooth as sand, honest as the boldest, unfiltered confession. This "disinterested" reader fell madly into her pool of life. ( You'll understand once you read this lovely book.) I'm not even sure it should be called a memoir: it's a story, and a journal and a love letter to life, family, the process of getting through it all. And yes, I listen to The Bridge on Sirius, and yes, I watched the Youtube video of Carly and James singing "Devoted to You." And yes, I will return to this book- for its truth, its magic, its beauty.

I love Dani Shapiro's writing, and when this book came out it rose to the top of my pile of "to reads" and I wasn't disappointed. Everything looks different from the inside, and a marriage is one thing we rarely see through that lens. At times poignant and sweet, others cast with an essential sadness. I would give it 5 stars...since I didn't put it down....I read it through to the end, but around page 127 it became a bit self indulgent and she lost me. Honestly, I'm not even sure that particular drama was necessary, but maybe it was just over my head.One thing that I loved was reflecting my own marriage in this one, and at times noticed a little smile come to me as I recalled seeing my husband for the first time too. We hardly ever get a chance to do those little things....

This was a good book that really makes it clear that no matter how perfect a marriage seems there are always difficulties in life.

This slim, beautifully-written book packs a powerful punch and make a terrific Mother’s Day present. Shapiro provides a sharply observed, intimate and exquisite look at the underside of her marriage. At times, you feel that she and her husband are standing naked before you, the view is that close-up and personal. Candor is her strength and anyone who has been in a decades-relationship with a significant other will recognize much of what Shapiro describes here: The longstanding love, the frequent frustration, the occasional competition, the demands of aging parents and sick children, the mutual dependency, the financial vulnerability, the tenderness, the lust, the commitment to keep showing up for each other, and the grace that comes with the gradual acceptance of imperfection and knowledge that your lover is trying his or her best, By describing in candid detail the tiny cracks in her marriage, Shapiro illustrates that these cracks don’t add up to damage, but rather to strength---an art that the Japanese call “Kinsugi” (golden joinery), in which cracks in pottery are repaired with gold, silver or platinum, so that breakage and repair are considered part of the vital history of a piece rather than something to hide. (Thank you Wikipedia.) There are some gorgeous sentences in this book. Here are some of my favorites:“Where does hope go when it vanishes?”“At 40 my mother died. And then a long, merciful stretch of ordinary days.”“There is no other life than this. You would not have stumbled into the vastly imperfect, beautiful, impossible present.”“It was not the education I wanted, but it was the one I got.”“The more dangerous the situation, the slower his pulse.”“We were struggling contented, bewildered, joyful, full of longing, grief-stricken, fearful, searching, at peace.”“But I can no longer say to M. that we’re just beginning. Let everything happen to you: beauty and terror. That solid yet light thing---our journey—is no longer new. He identified my mother’s body. We took turns holding our seizing child. We have watched his mother disappear in plain sight. We have raised Jacob together. We know each other in a way that young couple couldn’t have fathomed. Our shared vocabulary—our own language---will die with us. We are the treasure itself: fathoms deep, in the world we have made again and again.”

When one of your all-time favorite authors has a new book that you have been eagerly awaiting, you read it furiously and slowly at the same time. Dani Shapiro has once again written a stunningly alive, poignant and almost outside looking in memoir HOURGLASS: TIME, MEMORY, MARRIAGE. If you’ve read any of her previous memoirs, you will know that she has a gift for the most eloquent way of looking at life both past and present. In her latest, she writes about how life experiences shape us, and she invokes her vast knowledge of great literature throughout – the ties that bind.“Let the young soul look back upon its life and ask itself: what until now have you truly loved, what has raised your soul, what ruled it and at the same time made it happy? Line up these objects of reference before you, and perhaps by what they are and their sequence, they will yield you a law, the fundamental law of your true self.” Nietzsche quoted by Shapiro in her book.Just as the author quotes the great philosopher, among many writers, she references a children’s book, FORTUNATELY, UNFORTUNATELY, which captivated me. The significance of living life not according to a plan and hoping for the best.Being so open about what makes a marriage, her own, how it cycles, what worries us as individuals, as a couple, how we cope, how we love, how we overcome. HOURGLASS is a relatable love story. It’s not sugar-coated nor is it damaging. It is life.One additional point, this is not just a book about a marriage. It is sprinkled with stories about Shapiro’s life as a writer, the loss of her parents and choices that she has made. It is a beautifully rendered message of time.

Entertaining and Wonderful Craftsmanship

I enjoy Dani's books so much, but this one was a little different. It was very short (about half the size of a regular novel) and so I finished it in a day. I enjoyed Devotion much more than this one, although this was a pleasant read.

This is one of the most extraordinary memoirs I have ever read. Dani writes with a deceptive simplicity which is clearly the result of huge effort and practice at being concise. I read it in small gulps. Every paragraph seemed to convey a thought or image that resonated and that I could contemplate for hours. It impelled me to think about my own life differently but also to wonder about other aspects of Dani’s life, driving me to read every single one of her other books within weeks of each other. I don’t think I have ever found a memoir that I could actually call life-changing until I came across this jewel of a book.

Ich bin 23 und kann mir vorstellen, das Buch auch nochmal mit 40 zu lesen.Es hat auch meiner Mutter und Freunden- alle mit unterschiedlichen Erfahrungen und Meinungen zu Liebe und Ehe sehr gefallen. :)

It's boring. Sorry. Not finished. Hello charity shop.